“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
I agree with Mark Twain on this. So yes, dating a younger man can work.
Forget all the stereotypes around age when it comes to love. I mean, how many marriages fail even after following the age-gap rule?
Every time the age-gap issue comes up, I ask this question: Would you leave a guy you are compatible with (in all aspects) because they are younger than you?
I understand some people hold this so dear. But all I’m saying is that dating a younger man can work.
Let’s discuss this further.
Is it Okay to Date a Younger Guy?
Whether it’s okay or not is entirely up to you. If I tell you it’s okay and you feel it’s not, it doesn’t make it okay.
Mark said if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. This means if you mind, it absolutely matters.
Those who survive dating a younger man and sometimes getting married succeed because it’s not an issue for them. They are okay with it, so the criticism doesn’t get to them.
If you are asking if it’s okay according to society, then it’s not. And there are so many reasons why, which make sense, by the way.
But if we are talking about your happiness, then it is totally fine. After all, your happiness comes first, so why should you care about some unsaid rule?
Besides, dating has really evolved. We’ve accepted open relationships, dating multiple people and other things that sounded so wrong in the past. So why not do away with the age-gap rule?
How Do You Date a Younger Man Successfully?
Today’s world allows you to date anyone you want, provided they aren’t minors and you aren’t breaking any laws. However, this doesn’t mean you won’t face criticism for choosing a younger man. Try these tips to date a young guy successfully:
Ignore the age difference
The first thing you have to do is ignore the age difference. I don’t mean to pretend he is the same age or older than you. I mean not to allow it to cloud your judgment.
This will help you analyze him as a person as you won’t associate every action with his age.
Focus on his personality
What are his interests? How does he relate with you and others? It’s only fair to judge someone by their character rather than their age. Some people act more mature than their age.
You can only notice how a person thinks by focusing on their personality. So focus more on him and judge him based on his character.
Treat him with respect
Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you disrespect him. Every man deserves respect from his partner. If you treat him respectfully, he will do the same.
Though respect is paramount in every relationship, it carries more weight in this case. You see, anytime the guy feels disrespected, he will conclude it’s because he’s younger.
With that mentality, your relationship will end before it starts.
Talk about your age difference
Don’t pretend everything is okay. When I said “ignore the age difference,” I didn’t mean “not to talk about it.”
You two need to have a serious conversation about the issue so you know where you stand.
Find out if you two are okay with it before anything else. This way, your relationship kicks off on the right foot.
Be upfront about your intentions
Are you looking to have fun, or is there a possibility of something long-term? These are things you should discuss with your man.
Be honest about your intentions and let him decide if you want the same things.
Don’t play mommy
It’s obvious you have more experience than he does. Chances are you are wealthier too. Even with your experience, don’t try to act like his mother.
You can advise him in a cool way, but don’t go telling him what to do and what not to do. He will see you as a dictator, and no man wants to be controlled like that.
Take your age-gap positively
Try to see the positive side of having a younger partner. This will help you enjoy your relationship and appreciate the benefits that come with the age difference.
Treat your relationship like any other
Like in any other relationship, you need to communicate with each other. And not just communicate, but appreciate and respect each other.
Basically, treat your relationship like you would if you were dating an older man. Also, don’t forget to cultivate your bond and grow together.
Brace yourself for judgment
Accepting what you have doesn’t mean there won’t be negative criticism. People will throw all kinds of shade, so brace yourself and be ready for it. Some may even come from friends or family.
What Are the Benefits of Dating a Younger Man?
There are several advantages to dating a younger man. They include:
He recharges your sense of adventure
His adrenaline rush for adventure is higher than yours. He will encourage you to be adventurous, which is good compared to leading a boring “old-age” lifestyle.
From trying new foods, visiting new places and participating in fun activities, you will discover a lot together.
He has less emotional baggage
I was listening to an interesting interview where the interviewee was a woman who had married a young man a few days before.
When asked about her experience dating men her age or older, her answer was thrilling.
“Ironically, the men I dated in their 40’s (she is currently 49 years old) seemed to be dealing with a lot. They were either badly bruised from nasty divorces or commitment-phobes. So it is refreshing to date someone with little emotional baggage, who just wants to have a healthy relationship.”
Though she emphasized that it was her experience, not everyone experiences the same. But her answer makes sense: a young man (who has decided to pursue a healthy relationship) has less emotional baggage.
You are somehow assured of his love
If he doesn’t mind the age difference and treats you right, then you know he loves you for who you are. He had options (and I’m not saying you didn’t), but he would easily choose to pursue women his age or younger.
You enjoy amazing sex
Chances are, he will have a higher sex drive than you. And not just that, he is more active, so he will be willing to explore sex and have fun. So, as his partner, you get to explore with him.
He rekindles your younger self
You are the company you keep, right? Since you are spending time with an energetic young man, you will start feeling young. It will be like reliving your young life.
Disadvantages of dating a younger man
- There will always be insecurities and fears. Especially if your relationship gets serious and you need to tell both your families.
- You have to deal with his immaturity. Since you are older, you might notice some aspect of immaturity in his thinking or actions.
- He still has a lot to figure out. Whether it’s work-related or personal, you have to endure the instability when he is trying to find himself.
- You might have to support him financially because he has less than you.
Sadly, finding true love is not an easy thing. And worse, you have to deal with societal norms like the age gap as you navigate the dating world.
The issue of age is so serious that some end up rejected by families because they chose love over age. Which means you can’t be a hundred percent happy. You compromise on one thing to enjoy the other.
But this doesn’t mean you can’t date a younger man. If that’s where your happiness lies, I say go for it. You owe yourself all the happiness in the world, so choose yourself and have fun!