Teenagehood is a time of learning and uncovering things you didn’t know about. Girls are told to take care of themselves, while guys are taught to respect women.
If she’s agreed to go on a first date with you, it’s time to show her who you are and put all you’ve learned about respecting women into practice.
But first, congratulations! Even getting her to go on a date with you is an achievement. And because I want you to get a second date before winning her heart, this article covers eleven tips to hack that first date like a pro!
Keep reading to learn this and the unspoken first date rules every teenage guy should know.
First Date Tips for Teenage Guys
First dates are an opportunity to create a good impression and hopefully win a second date. Here are tips to help create that first impression:
1. Choose an ideal location preferably public
Where you go on a date can determine the success of your first date. An ideal location is one you are both comfortable with.
As a teenage guy, I assume your date is your age, mate. As such, she’s been advised against secluded places, so choose a public place for your date.
You can even ask her about her preferred location to be sure. Don’t sweat; a mall or park can do just fine.
2. Don’t go to the movies
I know movies fall under public places, and most teenage guys think they are ideal first-date locations, but I don’t go there.
Your first date should be about finding out if there is a mutual interest in going on a second date. Note: not “mutual attraction,” but “mutual interest.”
You don’t expect to find this sitting for two hours in silence. I mean, you can’t engage her while in the movies.
3. Focus on knowing your date as a person away from what you think you know
I believe you’ve been eyeing her for a while. So you’ve probably learned a thing or two about her in secret.
There is nothing wrong with that, provided it doesn’t affect your thoughts about her. Often, there is a separate personality from what is portrayed in public.
So whatever you think you know about her, put it in the back and have a blank space to add new information about her. Pay genuine attention to the details, because the information is always in the details.
4. Groom nicely
Nothing out of this world; just basic personal hygiene stuff like showering, brushing your teeth, cleaning inside and behind your ears, and using mouthwash, among others.
And don’t forget to trim and clean your nails. If you don’t, she will notice them, and you don’t want that. Or you might notice them during the date, try to hide them, and make things awkward.
Pick a cute outfit that you’re comfortable in. If it needs ironing, iron it nicely and wear a subtle cologne. Remember, you’re not wearing cologne or perfume for everybody in the room.
Don’t leave room for doubts. Instead, do everything that makes you feel confident, but don’t overdo it.
Now is not the time to get a new haircut to impress her. Go for your usual style to avoid looking like you’re trying too hard.
Also about clothes: they should be appropriate for the environment. That is, go with your date’s location, which means don’t wear a suit and tie to a coffee shop, mall, or park.
5. Be good at controlling the conversation but comfortable with silence
Conversing is where most guys go wrong. They bring up debatable topics like politics or religion and ruin everything.
Don’t bring up such sensitive topics unless you’re double-sure you’re on the same page. Just talk about things you have in common. Anything about cultural stuff is easy to talk about. Things like TV shows, music, books, and movies
Relax and have fun. Try to ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation going, but don’t go into interview mode. It should be an engaging conversation, not one-sided.
Another thing: be comfortable with silence. You may try to keep the conversation going, but sometimes you run out of words. This may happen, especially if she is shy and you’re trying to make her talk.
In addition, I understand you might disagree on some things. So instead of trying to win her over to your side, allow her to express her opinions and try to understand her. Simply be objective when conversing.
6. Mind your body language and read hers
Body language says things that can’t be said in words. Keep your body language in mind so you can correct it. However, don’t spend the whole time concentrating on it. Instead, focus on her and read her body language.
Positive body languages, like a genuine smile, eye contact, and an open posture, are essential. But if you keep looking away, frowning, or crossing your hands, you are not being a good date.
Such negative body language can imply that you don’t like her as your date or are not enjoying the date.
7. Don’t set expectations for how it should go
You don’t have to plan every move or set expectations for how it should go. Just do your best and allow things to flow.
This way, you don’t get nervous or disappointed when things don’t go as expected.
8. Be authentic and confident
Stop overthinking that she won’t like your personality. That’s how you get tempted to fake your personality to impress her.
Faking is tiring, and it never comes across as natural. So if you pretend, she’ll know you’re faking, which is a turn-off to most girls.
Be authentic, and maybe avoid traits that you’ve been told are unpleasant. Another thing: be confident and show that you are. That’s how adult guys win a lady’s heart, as ladies are attracted to confidence.
When she sees your confidence, it shows that you believe in yourself.
9. Show genuine interest
Instead of focusing on winning her, show genuine interest in her personality, and the attraction will come naturally.
Pay attention when she is talking, maintain eye contact, be a good listener, and let her feel your interest in her as a person away from school or home.
10. If you’re nervous, try to distract yourself
It’s okay to get nervous. Even adults do, despite going on hundreds of dates. But how you handle it is the crucial thing.
Try to distract yourself by warming up with texts before the date. Try to engage her in a conversation on the phone, as it eases things up and helps you familiarize yourself with your date.
You can also arrive several minutes earlier at the location (if you’re not picking her up) and distract yourself by familiarizing yourself with the environment or reading a book if you like reading.
Just do anything that helps you relax, and have things like folded towels if your hands start to sweat.
11. Don’t over-compliment her
Compliments are nice but don’t overdo them. Tell her she looks gorgeous when you see her, but don’t keep repeating it during the date. She might start doubting it and think you’re just saying it to make her feel beautiful when she’s not.
The Unspoken Rules for a First Date that a Teenage Guy Should Know
As a guy, much is expected of you. It might not be fair, but that’s how it is, and the sooner you accept this, the better.
Here are some of the unspoken first date rules that make you a good date if you follow them:
Don’t brag or complain
Avoid bragging or coming out as you’re bragging. Even if you’re your school’s best footballer, just tell her you like football but don’t brag. It’s nice if she finds out on her own that you’re good at something instead of learning it from your endless bragging.
In the same way, avoid complaining too much. You don’t want to come off as arrogant or spoiled. Even when you don’t like something, avoid mentioning it repeatedly.
Be respectful to her parents if you’re picking her up at home
If you’re picking her up at home, show respect to her parents, siblings, or anyone else you meet there. This shows that you’re a gentleman, and her parents or guardians know they can trust you with their daughter.
Her dad might give you the “if you hurt my daughter” talk. Even so, remain calm and respectful. After all, he may decide you’re not going out with her, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Be polite and friendly
This goes without saying, but I have to insist. Be polite about everything, even when something triggers your emotions, and not just to her. to everyone you interact with during the date.
Even if it’s your parents or siblings on the occasion that your parent or sibling drives you to her home or the location of the date.
Simply be a gentleman.
Don’t try to kiss her
Unless you’ve all established you’re having sex and are actually in the process, don’t try to kiss her during the date. Even if you think she wants you to kiss her, it’s safer to avoid doing it.
You’d better leave her craving your kiss than force yourself on her. This will be a huge turnoff.
It’s just a first date, so treat it as that
Stop overthinking; that’s how you mess things up because all your attention goes elsewhere. Focus on the moment and treat it as it is—your first date.
You’re not looking for a wife, so focus on learning about this person and being a good date. If you’re lucky, the connection will come naturally.
Be respectful to people you interact with during your date
This includes waiters if you go to a restaurant. Be respectful and polite during your interaction. Even when something provokes you, try to maintain your cool.
No means no
If she says no to anything, don’t insist. No means no, despite the misinformation that girls mean yes when they say no.
This is especially true if, for some reason, you think she wants or expects you to kiss her. If you try it and she says no, don’t do it. You will end up ruining the whole thing.
Have good table manners if you’re eating
If you go to a restaurant or somewhere you’ll eat or drink, have good table manners.
Don’t keep checking your phone.
Your phone should be in your pocket throughout the date. Checking your phone constantly shows you’re uninterested in her or what she is saying.
If you must use your phone—let’s say it’s an emergency—excuse yourself and let her know.
Don’t bring friends
Trust me, bringing friends to make her comfortable makes her uncomfortable. It’s not a date if other people are coming.
Unless she knows it and is genuinely okay with it.
A minute earlier is better than a second late
The worst thing you can do on your first date is keep her waiting. Rather than keep her waiting, you better arrive on time and wait for her to get ready (if you’re picking her up at home).
Have basic sexual and contraceptive knowledge
Though your intention may not be to get laid, it’s wise to have basic sexual and contraceptive knowledge.
In the slim chance you have sex, this will come in handy. You will avoid a lot of awkwardness, embarrassment, or serious life-changing consequences like pregnancy.
You may even carry a condom, but hide it far enough away as it may cause negative thoughts if spotted early on. The intention of carrying one is for protection just in case; it is not to come out, as your purpose was to have sex all along.
Don’t talk about another girl
Never talk about another girl on your first date. Don’t ask her about her friends at school, particularly if they have a boyfriend.
And worse, never talk about your ex on your first date unless she asks about it. And if she does, answer the question briefly and move to a different topic.
You should also not ask about her previous relationships.
You asked her on a date, so pay
Always offer to pay the bill unless she insists on paying or splitting it.
Everyone, including adults, gets nervous on their first dates. You want things to turn out well and create an excellent first impression, so you stand a chance with her.
But overthinking it won’t help. Relax and have fun. She might ride along and have fun with you.
The idea is to make her comfortable around you. Focus on that instead of trying too hard to stand out from your competition. If she gets comfortable around you, she will likely have fun, and the connection will come naturally.
Just be nice, and with the above tips, you might win a second date.