You’ve already gone through the first three dates. Look at you. You’re on fire!
You’re one step closer to finding a potential partner. So, congratulations! Most people don’t get this far.
Now, what next?
By the third date, you know each other better and have reached a certain level of comfort to discuss some serious issues. However, you’ve not gone through the hardest part yet: figuring out where you’re headed.
Most people believe that the third date is the charm. Maybe it is, but the fourth one is crucial since it can make or break everything you started. Well, that’s why we are here—to give you useful fourth-date tips and pieces of advice for your next big date.
Why the fourth date, specifically?
By the time you get to the fourth date, you already know where they live, where they work, what they do in their free time, what their ideal weekend looks like, what their hobbies are, etc. You’ll probably be less nervous, more comfortable (hopefully), and wearing more comfortable clothes.
No pressure, right?
So, where do you go from here?
The fourth date is significant because it often indicates higher chances for a more serious relationship rather than just a casual one.. By this time, you have shared personal information, are familiar and comfortable around each other, and have established a connection. You might even be experiencing a bit of sexual tension and chemistry between you.
But there’s still more.
A fourth date is an opportunity to determine if there is enough potential for a deeper emotional connection to make things official.
Is the initial connection still there? Do you want to keep seeing them? Are you interested in pursuing a relationship with this person?
These are some questions you need answers to after the fourth date. So, you’ll need to assess the situation.
Fourth date tips
Here are some tips to help you prepare yourself for a fourth date.
Plan a date based on your date’s interests
By this fourth date, you already have ideas of what your date likes to do for fun.
Is there an interest or an activity that you guys share in common? We suggest you go for it since both of you are guaranteed to have a good time.
Is your date a foodie? Look up a decent yet fancy restaurant where you can spend your evening over dinner and have good conversations.
Do they like live performances? Research some local venues and find out what shows are playing on the day of your date, and purchase tickets to the show you both agree on.
Does your date love rollercoasters? Buy tickets to a theme park that’s convenient for both of you.
Do something active together
Physical activity can create such a fun and memorable experience and have some other benefits, such as:
- It can provide a good opportunity to bond as you work together towards a common goal or overcome a specific challenge.
- Physical activity will make you think, act and talk first, making it easy to learn about each other.
- Affection will be at an all-time high because the brain releases endorphins when participating in physical activities.
- You’ll want to put your best foot forward.
However, keep in mind that you have to consider if your date is into physical activities. In addition, you have to find out if they have any physical limitations or injuries that may affect their ability to participate in the activity.
Some ideas for physical activities include bike riding, archery, roller skating, bowling, dance classes, walking in the park, mini-golf, ice skating, mountain climbing, and gym classes.
Choose an activity that both of you will be comfortable doing and have fun while at it.
Spend at least a few hours together
A fourth date can be a good time to spend more time together and deepen your connection. By the time you get here, you will have already established mutual interests and laid the foundation for a potential relationship.
You could arrange for you and your date to spend a whole day together; for example, you could go on a road trip that combines adventure and exploration or a hike that ends with dinner.
Spending quality time together can lead to growing closer. However, the length of the date should be based on the availability of both parties. It’s important to respect people’s time and communicate openly about what you want.
Ask some deep questions
Want to connect on a deeper level? Ask deeper questions. These questions can help you build a closer bond with your date. It’s one of the ways they can disclose themselves to you. In addition, deep questions may help you and your date reflect on your relationship.
Move past surface-level questions, such as their hobbies, ideal vacation destination, preferences, everyday activities, etc. Dive deep into the stuff that will help you discover who they are.
Instead, ask questions like,
- “What was your childhood like?”
- “How did your upbringing shape you?”
- “What is your family like?”
- “What were you like as a kid?”
- “What are your priorities in life?”
- “Who are your closest friends?”
- “What are your biggest fears?”
- “Are you religious or spiritual?”
- “What are your life goals and plans for the future?”
Now, you don’t want to ask one question after another as if your date is on a job interview or a police interrogation. But squeeze in a few questions as the conversation continues. Let them flow naturally.
Each answer can give you a better perspective on their personality.
Disclaimer: If you notice that your date is avoiding answering some questions, don’t push it. Please respect their boundaries.
Open up a little more
Your date also wants to get to know you better, not just on the surface but on a deeper level. They want to know about you, your family, upbringing, values, goals, and all the other deep stuff.
When you open up, you share your experiences, thoughts, and feelings. This can help deepen the connection and build trust.
Also, opening up can increase intimacy, making both of you feel comfortable around each other.
Finally, it is a sign of vulnerability. Vulnerability can show your date how authentic and genuine you are.
However, only share what you’re comfortable discussing and respect your boundaries.
Stop playing “hard to get”
Is it attractive to play hard to get? Maybe for a little while.
People who are “easy” to get may be perceived as desperate. That’s why some people choose to play the hard-to-get game. Unfortunately, while playing hard to get is a common strategy, it can only go on for so long.
By the fourth date, you know your date is interested in you, and you’re most likely feeling the same way too. Otherwise, why would you even bother going on a fourth date?
These are some reasons that make playing “hard to get” at this level unacceptable.
- It can send mixed signals to your date. This can make them question your intentions and level of interest.
- It can be interpreted as rejection, which can make your date lose interest in pursuing you.
- It can hinder the development of a deeper connection and growth.
- Playing hard-to-get can sometimes require you to act in a way that doesn’t reflect your true feelings. This means that you won’t be true to yourself and your date.
- It can make your date feel like they’re putting in a lot of effort and getting nothing in return.
Therefore, communicate openly and honestly with your date and always remain true to yourself.
You can talk about past love life (if it comes up)
Should you talk about your ex?
Well, you can if you feel comfortable discussing past relationships.
In general, discussing your past love life can reveal a lot about how you are as a partner. This doesn’t mean you must explain all the details about your past relationships. However, you can talk about how long your important relationship lasted, the reasons for breaking up, and the kinds of people you’ve previously dated.
Also, it can help you find out if you have emotional baggage that could ruin your potential relationship.
Define the relationship
Up until after this date, you might want to take things to the next level. You’ve probably discussed everything you need to determine whether you wish to proceed as a couple.
This is the date that should decide the direction of the relationship to avoid misunderstandings or assumptions; this is where the dreaded “what are we?” question comes up.
Do you want a serious relationship? or just something casual?
If you both want to make it official and be in a relationship, you can label things and set some ground rules for the relationship. On the other hand, if you both determine that you have a strong connection but are not compatible, you can decide not to move on.
Get physical, maybe
There is no set time frame for how long you should wait to have sex. Some people have sex on the first date, while others wait until marriage. So, there are no rules for these things.
However, if you’ve not gotten physical up to this point and you both feel like you’re up for it, by all means, go for it.
By date four, the sexual tension might be on steroids. But don’t force it or be pushy about it. Keep in mind that if getting physical doesn’t feel right yet, there’s always a fifth date (hopefully).
The third time’s the charm, right? Why don’t you try the fourth?
This is where all the magic happens in terms of physical and emotional connection. Also, this is where you transition from the initial stages of dating to a more serious and committed relationship.
Let’s not forget about the sexual tension.
Remember to go on a fourth date with an open mind and realistic expectations. Just enjoy your date.