So you’ve been dating for a while, and things seem to be working. You are both compatible and thinking of taking it to the next level.
Good for you!
However, your concern is rushing to a commitment or taking too long and spoiling things.
Well, this post answers your question on how long you should date before committing to a relationship and anything else that will help you make a solid decision.
Let’s delve in!
How Long Before Dating Turns Into a Relationship?
The short answer is: as long as it takes.
There is no fixed time. Some people take as long as a year, while others commit after one month of dating. Just go with what works for you.
The most important thing is to be on the same page as your partner. You might choose to take your time (for good reasons), and they might not like the delay.
In the same way, you might decide to hasten things, yet they want to take their time. That’s why it’s good to talk about such things.
Dating is an important phase where you get to know each other. The more you spend time together, the more you learn about each other. So if you spend time twice a month, you can’t compare your dating duration to that of a couple that meets more than five times a month.
Chances are, their connection is stronger, and they know each other better than you, even if you started dating at the same time.
Such a couple can opt to commit to a relationship within three months of dating. After all, they know each other well enough, and isn’t that what dating is all about?
You, on the other hand, need more than six months to become conversant with each other.
The general rule is three months or more. It is assumed that it is long enough to know a person. And it is if both of you are putting in the necessary effort.
The point is, how long it takes depends on you two. So take your precious time, communicate with your partner, and put in the work.
I also must say this: don’t let your heart and hormones pressure you into a long-term commitment.
Keep your eyes and ears open and your mind in the game so you can capture everything there is to observe.
After that, ask yourself if you share the same values, if you want similar goals, and if you care about each other. While you can both have romantic feelings towards each other, can you both be friendly and compassionate towards each other?
You should ultimately have a list of requirements or expectations of your ideal partner, and this person should be able to meet most or all of them.
And once you know enough about this person, you can confidently decide whether you should be in a long-term relationship with them.
How Do You Know When Dating Turns into a Relationship?
When you two have that talk and agree to commit to a relationship.
Don’t assume that you are in a relationship just because you’ve dated for a year. Until someone asks you to be their girlfriend or boyfriend and you say yes, you are still dating.
Even if you are receiving the girlfriend or boyfriend treatment but the status is undefined, don’t give yourself the label. I would say you talk about it when you notice such things.
So don’t wait for it to turn into a relationship. You might wait forever. Dating doesn’t necessarily lead to a relationship. It’s the partners who decide to be exclusive and commit to a relationship.
Though I must say, sometimes you don’t have the conversation. You find yourself referring to your partner as your boyfriend or girlfriend in public.
Alternatively, you hear your partner calling you that in public, especially when introducing you to their friends.
Often, you get to that point after dating for quite some time. But I still insist you have “the talk” even after being introduced as that special person. It’s best to be told in person. After all, how do you know if they are just painting a picture?
Some people define it after being asked and being introduced in public. The argument is that you may be special in private, but you are not in public. Worse still, if someone is hiding you from the world, there would be someone else in the picture.
which makes a lot of sense.
Let’s agree to commit to a relationship, and you introduce me to your friends as your lover. But most importantly, let’s talk about it first.
How Do You Know It Is Time for a Relationship?
Since we can’t really tell how long you should date before a relationship, let’s discuss some signs that you two are ready for a relationship.
When you know almost everything about each other
Dating should be a period where you learn almost everything about each other. So when you feel you know each other in and out, maybe it’s time to have that commitment talk.
When you can’t go a day without checking on your partner
When you start dating, you probably talk once every few days. But as time goes by, you grow fond of each other and want to spend every day together.
Since you can’t for various reasons, you communicate daily to know how your partner is doing. It gets to a point where you can’t go a day without texting or calling them. Which means your bond is stronger.
When you want to spend more time with your partner
The more you spend time together, the stronger your bond grows. And when you are away, you miss each other so much that you do everything to meet up. Even when you meet, you feel it’s not enough, and you want more time with each other.
When you feel like telling the whole world about them
True love is exciting, fun, and uncontainable. When you start talking about your date all the time and feel like letting the whole world know about them, maybe it’s time to take that bold step.
When you two admit your love for each other
You must be in love first before committing to a relationship. Most importantly, you should feel the same about each other. A relationship can’t work when one person is in love and the other isn’t.
If you two confess your feelings to each other, you can start thinking about a relationship.
When you are ready for a relationship
You might be in love but aren’t ready to be in a relationship. Again, all of you must be ready for it.
A relationship requires effort to survive. If one person gets in when they aren’t ready, it will be draining to keep it going. Allow yourselves time to be ready before you decide to commit.
Communication is important in every relationship. Even when you are just dating, it’s important to communicate expectations and goals.
This way, you are on the same page and are pursuing the same thing.
What I mean is, how will you notice the above signs if you are not communicating? You might be ready, but is your partner ready? Until someone says it out loud, you can’t know for sure. So talk about your feelings, expectations, and where your relationship is going.
I’m emphasizing expectations because some people choose not to be in a relationship. They date, yes, but never commit. If you are dating such a person, hoping for a relationship, you might be sorry.
That’s why you should know what your partner wants from the start.
Don’t Rush into a Relationship
The worst mistake you can ever make is committing to a long-term relationship when you are not ready. There is so much to learn about your partner, so take your precious time.
A relationship is a long-term commitment. I always say that when you decide to commit to someone, you are trusting them with your life. Think about it this way: most people in a relationship share important details about each other.
And even if you don’t, that person is close enough to retrieve any information you want.
Another thing, chances are you are having unprotected sex. This means if your partner messes up, you are in the mess together. You see, this person can easily fuck your life up.
That’s why you should know them inside and out and be sure you trust them enough to let them into your life.
Wrapping Up
How long you should date before committing to a relationship is totally up to you. Don’t let anyone pressure you for whatever reason.
Worse still, don’t focus on following some unsaid rule and get into something you are not ready for.
Relationships are long-term commitments.
You don’t walk in today, and the next day you want out. Besides, they are very personal. You suffer the pain or enjoy the happiness alone, so why would you allow someone to decide this for you?
