Matched with a person you like on Tinder but don’t know where to start? Trust me; we’ve all been there.
While you may be a pro at flirting in the real world, flirting online is a whole new arena. Engaging in a flirty conversation with your Tinder match is a great way to get to know them better and to land an actual date in real life.
If you want to up your flirting game on Tinder, keep reading ahead.
9 Tips on How to Flirt on Tinder
1. Paragraphs Won’t Work
Remember a time when you typed a whole blob of text when you were mad at your ex? You know the process, right? We have all typed long texts out of frustration or excitement or pure sadness.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t work when you’re trying to flirt with someone. Imagine receiving a text that states:
“Hello! I am XYZ. I saw our profiles matched, and since then, I have been reading your profile. There are many interesting things that I noticed. First is the color of your t-shirt, which is quite unusual. Do you mind if we continue chatting?”
OK, so I lost interest after the first line. I can’t entirely blame my short attention span (it can be a reason, though). The text is too long to keep anyone hooked, more so if you’re on your phone, which you probably are while on Tinder. Here’s a better alternative:
“Hey! I think our color choices match too. I have four (mention the shirt color of the other person) shirts in my wardrobe. Let’s see what more we have in common.”
You see? The message is the same, but the sentence length has an impact. And a bit of wit goes a long way.
2. Don’t Jump into Sexuality
While some would argue that dating apps primarily exist for getting laid, it’s still not a good idea to start with sex talk directly. It is kind of a put-off for most people because if you jump on sexuality, it says that you’re desperate.
You need to play it smart and do it subtly. Remember, there’s no rush. But don’t linger on so much that the other person forgets about you and moves on to another.
By sexuality, I mean that you don’t need to discuss your sexual likes or dislikes immediately. Instead, you can start with a playful hint. If they pick up, you’re good to go. If they don’t, you can try a couple of more times.
For example, you can say something like,
“I was watching an XYZ movie alone. I thought it might be fun if there was some company.”
The text doesn’t directly say that you want to get close, but it indirectly asks about the other party’s intentions. You can try such innuendos without getting too obvious.
3. Know Their Profile
The worst mistake you can make on a dating app like Tinder is to ignore your match’s profile. You’re awestruck by the display picture, and you start texting without knowing them. Well, it will show that you’re unprepared.
A better way to kickstart your journey is to go through the profile and the pictures they have shared. As the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words; you can extract information from the pictures they have shared.
You can ask them questions (never personal, though) about those pictures. For example, you can start by complimenting their pet and asking them what the pet’s name is.
Even when flirting, you can’t directly start bombarding the other person with compliments. It looks odd and over-the-top to get compliments from strangers (unless you’re a celebrity).
4. Use Familiarity
Going through her profile, you must have picked up some important clues. For example, if she has shared a family moment, you can take her back to the image and tell her how wonderful her family looked.
It will immediately click with her because most of the time, we share stuff online to feel validated. That’s what you’ve done here.
It also says that you found her profile interesting enough to visit it thoroughly (a clear sign of interest). Apart from the pictures, you can also state something from her bio and ask her an open-ended question.
It can be anything, such as her campus details or even her travel preferences. Remember that you want to continue with her, so you’ll have to put in some serious effort.
5. Be Confident
Even if you’re not feeling confident, faking it would work. But remember not to overdo it. Throwing in something along the lines of ‘I knew that I was going to match a pretty girl soon’ would do.
However, something like ‘Hey pretty girl! I know you can’t say no to a date with a handsome dude’ it is breaking too many rules here. You’re giving up the rule of being subtle, showing desperation by asking her out immediately, and being over-confident by saying that you’re handsome.
Using a punch line like ‘I hear the coffee mugs clinking’ would be better than ‘I know you will not turn down a coffee tomorrow’.
You need to be confident and cute simultaneously without going all over the place with your confidence.
6. Use Compliments
Genuine compliments will take you way too far. When you correctly compliment someone, they will eventually get hooked.
However, if you keep complimenting a woman over her looks only, it may get cliched pretty soon.
Instead, you can compliment her life choices or the similarities you share.
You can compliment her when you’re a bit into conversation instead of starting right away with a compliment (oh! What pretty eyes, or how angelic face kind of compliments are a total turn off).
Use genuine compliments like ‘I like the way you handle my teasing’ or ‘I am impressed with your detail-oriented nature’.
7. Make Her Laugh
Humour is the key to a woman’s heart (untold truth); if you can make her giggle with your texts, congratulations! You have half-won the battle.
A man who makes a woman laugh will hook her better than anyone else. Her laughter is a sign that she feels good with you, and there are good vibes only.
To attempt to make her laugh, you can use a combination of silly, teasing, and cute remarks like:
‘I believe I can do better than my last swipe match. Please help me, lady’.
“Do you mind me asking about your shoe size?” “I know you will mind if I ask for another size, so keep it as a fetish.”
The goal is to make her laugh and get your intentions of flirting simultaneously. I know it takes practice, but isn’t that what makes us perfect?
8. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Boring and dragged conversations depend on ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ questions. In contrast, when you ask open-ended questions, you urge the other person to keep the conversation going.
When you ask, ‘Do you live on XYZ street?’ Expect a yes or no answer. But if you ask a question such as, “What is your favorite coffee place in the XYZ area?”, you’re inviting her to tell you more about her choices.
You can carry on the conversation by mentioning your coffee choices when she tells hers.
Instead of ‘what is your favorite pet?’ you should ask, “Do you like Poodles or are you a German Shepherd lover?” (Don’t ask this question if she never tells you that she loves dogs, though).
So, when flirting on Tinder, you should be casual yet profound.
9. Find Common Ground and Offer Them a Date
If your profiles match, there’s a high chance that your interests match as well. So build your flirtatious texting around that common interest.
It can be a sport, a travel spot you both have visited, or even your eating preferences.
I don’t see any harm in starting a conversation over ‘broccoli’ because both of you are vegetarians.
If you’re a gym enthusiast and she seems to be one too, you can ask her about her current exercise regime and offer her a walk in the nearby park together.
While it may not be an accurate date, she will get the clue and follow if interested.
Is It Okay to Flirt on Tinder?
Flirting on a dating app like Tinder is an otherwise harmless activity. However, being cautious about whom you choose to meet is crucial.
Although most of the time, dating apps only serve the purpose of dating, perverts and psychopaths too can be hiding behind the profiles.
So, do not make hasty decisions when you’re finding a partner online. Judge them for some time before making the final move, because the digital world can also prove extremely ugly.
You can have fun sitting at home if you know how to flirt on Tinder. It doesn’t matter if you’re not really into dating.
If done correctly, flirting can lead to real dates, and you might even meet your “the one.” And remember, there’s nothing wrong with flirting online. As long as you respect one’s boundaries, some casual online flirting can be really good for your mood and overall well-being.
So keep your hopes up and keep flirting.