How to Say Goodnight to Your Girlfriend?

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how to say goodnight to your girlfriend

Whether you’ve just started dating someone or have been in a relationship for a while, you’re likely in contact with your girlfriend as they go to bed. 

It makes sense to put some thought into what you should say as they’re drifting into sleep. Here is how you can avoid delivering a generic “goodnight.”

In this article, you will learn more about how you can construct appropriate goodnight messages that will keep you in the good books.

How to Say Goodnight to Your Girlfriend?

While it doesn’t seem hard to do so, there is actually a bit of a process when saying goodnight, as you’ll see below:

To say goodnight to your girlfriend, you must give a compliment, followed by a comment about relaxing or resting. Then you should add the words “goodnight” and conclude your wish with a kiss. You can adjust the exact complement and follow-up comment based on your familiarity and the situation.

If you follow the above, you should get something similar to the goodnight examples below.

  • “Goodnight, have dreams sweet as your smile.” 
  • “Meet me in your dreams.”
  • “Even the best need rest. Goodnight, gorgeous.”
  • “Looks like the woman of my dreams needs to visit her dreams.”
  • “Goodnight, babe. I miss you already”
  • “Goodnight, you’ll make tomorrow better by just waking up.”
  • “I’m as sorry as you are sleepy. Goodnight, love.”
  • “Go to bed knowing that I love you, no matter what.”

Sweet: Goodnight, Have Dreams as Sweet as Your Smile

Man teases his girlfriend before they sleep
Man teases his girlfriend before they sleep.

A sweet way to say goodnight works when you’re in the earlier stages of your relationship and when you’re trying to rekindle the honeymoon phase feelings. Metaphors reminiscent of sugar and desserts are welcome in this method. 

The value of this goodnight saying is not in its wittiness but in the sweet terminology. You could say something as simple as “goodnight, sugar” to have the same impact. Almost every dessert-related linguistic choice works here except chocolate in an interracial context.

Dropping a chocolate-related metaphor in an interracial context can be taken as offensive objectification. Sugar, sweet, and candy are the safest sweet terms to incorporate when saying goodnight to your girlfriend.

Sappy: Meet Me in Your Dreams

The “sappy” goodnight message has a universal appeal that men can miss quite easily. That’s because when men judge the “sappiness” of their words, they project themselves on the receiving end. On average, what is considered too sappy by men is seen as slightly sweeter than average by women. 

If your experience with your girlfriend doesn’t contradict that generalization, then you can safely use the sappy goodnight expression at any point in your relationship. Otherwise, save it for romantic getaways. To come up with a sappy goodnight message, you should rely on saturating the sweetness and downplaying the sappiness. 

Something like “I can’t wait to be in your dreams” can be off-putting because the sappiness is unnatural. But “meet me in your dreams” makes it seem like a normal task, which makes the sappiness digestible. 

Another example of a well-balanced sappy goodnight is “time to be the prettiest person asleep.” If your goodnight sounds like a casual task assignment and features a very sweet compliment, it is likely to get a positive reaction.

Motivational: Even the Best Need Rest, Goodnight Gorgeous

Man bids his girlfriend goodnight by kissing her shoulders.
Man bids his girlfriend goodnight by kissing her shoulders.

Sometimes, you can tell that your partner needs motivation. Your goodnight message should proclaim that she is the best to make her feel confident and boost her self-esteem. It doesn’t matter the words you choose as long as you can convey with confidence that her being the best is a ground reality. 

Here, the words matter less than the delivery. To say goodnight while motivating your girlfriend, you have to mention her positive aspects in a very matter-of-fact way. “You’re best at everything, even sleeping!” is another way to introduce a “goodnight” while hyping up your partner.

Cheesy: Looks Like the Woman of My Dreams Needs to Visit Her Dreams

“Cheesy” is a level above “sappy,” to the point that even girls acknowledge how saturated it is with sweetness. The best way to deliver a sappy goodnight is to be self-aware and unashamed about the cheesiness. 

This gives the other person enough room to treat it as a joke or accept it at face value while being flattered regardless. When coming up with a cheesy goodnight, you can be as sweet as possible and push the boundaries of compliments. Be unafraid to show how much you value your partner.

“You’re the sweetest person awake right now. And you’ll be the prettiest one asleep in a moment,” is yet another cheesy goodnight message. Again, it has to be delivered with the knowledge that it is unusually sweet and with the confidence that your partner deserves to feel good, even if it means you’ll feel slightly corny.

Straightforward: Goodnight, Babe. I Miss You Already

Woman received a good night text from his boyfriend
Woman received a good night text from his boyfriend.

The straightforward goodnight is one that works in most cases but is best reserved for when the alternative is not saying goodnight. Anything is better than not wishing your partner a good night. So the bare minimum you must do to maintain goodwill in your relationship is to deliver a straightforward goodnight. 

It is also a good option to bet on when you cannot decide on alternatives. Let’s suppose you’ve not really said anything but “goodnight” to your partner. If you take one of the lines from this post and deliver it tonight, your partner will be Googling the exact line before she goes to sleep. 

That’s because the transition would be unnatural. A straightforward goodnight extends the wish to the point of making the message non-generic. Everyone says “goodnight,” but not many people say “Goodnight, better dreams, best girl” or “Goodnight dear. I love you so much.”

Consoling: Goodnight, You’ll Make Tomorrow Better by Just Waking Up

the couple kisses goodnight.
The couple kisses goodnight.

This is a version of a motivational goodnight that takes into account your partner’s current energy. It can seem insensitive to be too positive when your partner is feeling bad about herself. The term “toxic positivity” is used for the phenomenon of being tone-deaf in one’s positivity. When managing mental states, you must pace and lead. 

That means you have to match your partner’s energy, then shift your state to a positive one so they can come along. In terms of engineering a “goodnight” with a consoling tone, you must start with an acceptable opening, then add something that gets positive towards the middle and reaches peak positivity at the end.

An alternative that follows this pattern is, “you can sleep, everything will be okay, and then it will be better.” This can be followed by, “goodnight, you deserve the best.” In both cases, the peak positive messaging is saved for the end.

Apologetic: I’m as Sorry as You Are Sleepy. Goodnight, Love

An apologetic goodnight works the best when you inject a little wit into it as possible. It is one of those contexts where the better the line is, the worse its effect might be. You do not want your partner to feel like being clever is a higher priority than communicating regret. 

“As you sleep, could you fill your heart with forgiveness, pretty please?” could work better than a witty punchline. What is needed is a simple positive goodnight message that doesn’t dismiss the fact that your partner is angry.

Calming: I’ll Be Here When You Wake Up and With You When You Sleep

Man embraces and kisses her girlfriend
Man embraces and kisses her girlfriend.

If your girlfriend is anxious, you can deliver a goodnight message that is sandwiched between two reassuring remarks. Something like, “I am here for you. Goodnight, love, you can rest now” is another way to add reassurance to your Goodnight message. 

Please note that if your partner is generally anxious, you might want to pick this niche of Goodnights alongside the sappy one while disregarding the rest. Anxious partners cannot suspend their disbelief when receiving a cheesy goodnight and can overthink the tone of a straightforward one.

Angry: Go to Bed Knowing That I Love You, No Matter What

This is a goodnight message that works to diffuse your own anger while simultaneously calming your partner. It is easier to say things that go too far when you’re angry. That is why you should have pre-designed goodnight messaging that reminds you of how much you care about your partner. 

Things that call back the good times can work well here. Any inside jokes or references embedded into your goodnight message can help to reassure your partner that anger doesn’t replace love. It also gives them a way to apologize without affecting their self-esteem.

Final Thoughts

A goodnight message doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s the thought that counts, so there should be some thought behind it. 

Your goodnight wish doesn’t have to be an Instagram caption-worthy; a simple compliment followed by a goodnight and a kiss works. 

Anything other than a generic “goodnight” shows that you care.

Photo of author


Over the years, Stephanie has had her fair share of dating experiences. While some turned out great, others weren't so great. She believes that relationships are meant to be fun, exciting, and full of laughter. She wants to help men and women become confident, attractive, and successful in their romantic relationships.