Congratulations! Navigating from attracting a match to engaging with them until they are interested in meeting in person is a huge milestone!
Now that you’re planning a physical meeting, you want to make it as successful as your first stage.
And this article will dish out all the tips you need when meeting someone you met online. From tips, as you prepare to meet them, to safety tips for security purposes and tips to ease the tension, we’ve got you!
We also cover tips to engage during your meet-up and other helpful tips to make the date smooth. And in the end, we answer some of your questions regarding your first date to ensure you’re well-informed before the date.
We are determined to make your first date successful, so let’s go!
Tips for Meeting Someone you Met Online
First-time meet-ups come with mixed feelings. You are nervous, tense, or even afraid because you’ve never met this person.
To ease the tension and make the meeting successful, here are some tips for preparing for the meet-up, including safety tips and tips to ease tension and help you engage better.
Let’s get started!
Tips when preparing to meet them
As you get ready to meet this person, ensure you;
Warm up before the date by texting or calling
Going silent three days before the date makes things awkward. They might find an excuse to bail, so remain in touch to clear the air.
Wear something comfortable
As you dress to impress, remember that comfort is part of impressiveness. You won’t impress when you can’t walk in your shoes; actually, you might embarrass yourself.
So, wear something comfortable, preferably something you’ve worn before. And if you must get a new outfit, wear it before your date so you know the ins and outs of it.
Have all your money (for food and transport)
Even when the other person has offered to pay, having all your money with you is wise. This includes both food and transportation, as well as a good extra amount. You might need it for emergencies like paying for their meal too, in case they run away (it has happened, by the way).
Lower your expectations
Avoid the pressure of turning your first date into love at first sight. No matter how incredible this person sounded on the phone, don’t go with high expectations to avoid disappointments.
Besides, with low or zero expectations, you allow things to flow naturally. And if it doesn’t turn out so well, you don’t look for reasons to justify it.
Be clear on what you want out of the date
Different goals, different approaches. So be clear if you want a hookup or something long-term. If you’re looking for a hookup, you probably don’t need to go into detail about them. But if you’re open to a serious relationship, you need to gather as much information as possible.
No matter how long you’ve been talking with this person, remember that you’ve never met, so they are still strangers. As such, it’s wise to prioritize your safety.
Here are several tips that will help;
Meet in a public place you already know
An outdoor restaurant or park would be a good option. Also, ensure the park is not secluded. I suggest choosing somewhere you’ve been before so you can get away easily in case you need to.
Opt for a location where you don’t plan on hanging out regularly in the future. We’ve heard crazy stalker stories, and being extra cautious doesn’t cost extra caution.
Besides, you don’t want to run into this person again in the future if the date doesn’t end well.
Give a friend all the relevant details of your meeting
I always tell a close friend every relevant detail when meeting a stranger for the first time, things like where we are meeting, so they are alert in case I need them. I even share my current location when something doesn’t feel right.
Here is how you can do the same in simple steps:
- Open your chat with the friend on WhatsApp
- Tap the attach button, and you’ll see a “location” option
- Click location, and choose “share live location.”
- Select the duration you’d like to share your location and tap send
You can also share your location via text message.
Keep your phone close all the time, and if possible, have an app that shows your friend your location
You will need your phone to request help when needed. Keep it close all the time, even when going to the bathroom.
You can also use one of these apps to track your location. Allow a friend or close relative to track your location. You’ll also be tracking theirs, which helps it remain intact.
Video call them to verify their identity before meeting them
So you can recognize them in person, make a video call, and ensure you capture them clearly. Insist they stay in a well-lit position so you can see everything. You can even do it several times and sometimes suggest it randomly, so you are not played.
This helps you spot them in your meet-up and recognize them for security reasons in case you need to. So, capture unique features like birthmarks or tattoos, if there are any.
Don’t give out your home address
This means you should not allow them to pick you up, especially at your home. Just meet at the location, and don’t suggest going to your place after the meet-up.
You should also not allow them to drop you off after your date. Even dropping you off at a friend’s or near your place is risky. Also, don’t mention anything about your home location or address.
Don’t go to their place
This should go without saying, but I had to insist. Even if you are meeting for a hookup, I suggest a hotel.
Verify every piece of information they told you online
During your meet-up, verify every detail, particularly those that arouse suspicion. Pay attention to their reaction and body language when they answer. You should also pay attention; you’re likely to catch a slip in case they were lying.
Tips to ease the tension
It’s normal to feel nervous when meeting someone for the first time. Here are tips to help ease the tension;
Stop imagining the worst
I know that with all the safety tips, it feels like you’re meeting a serial killer! However, don’t overthink the negatives.
Be objective and open-minded so you can learn them without judgment.
A friend who likes reading arrives thirty minutes earlier at the meet-up location and distracts herself by reading until her date arrives. Of course, you don’t have to read, but find something that can distract you from the date.
If you’re nervous, tell them
It’s normal to be nervous, and talking about it might help. They are probably nervous, too, and talking about it eases the tension. Besides, they are silently vouching for you to be fun so they can have a successful date too.
Tips for engaging them
Use these tips to engage them;
Keep an open mind
Be flexible and allow the conversation to flow without judgment. You want to be yourself, but give them time to be real too. You might not share the same interests or have different opinions. You can only remain objective in such moments by being open-minded.
As questions, but don’t go to interview mode
You need to know more about them, which means you must ask questions. However, be clever, as you don’t want to go into interview mode.
One way to go about it is not to start asking questions immediately when you’re settled. Instead, have a fun conversation, give them time to familiarize themselves with you and the environment, and amid a fun conversation, you can throw in a question at a time.
You can even start by answering the question yourself and then asking them. For example, if you say, “I like horse riding; I find it fun” (then maybe go into details of a crazy experience you had while riding), then ask them if they like it.
They might even answer before you ask.
Be a good listener
Don’t be the only person talking. Give them a chance to speak and listen to what they have to say. That’s how you’ll learn about them.
Be authentic but have some standards
Let them know your authentic self, but show some effort too. Find a balance between being too laid-back and being real.
This applies to your dressing, too. Don’t dress down, and don’t dress up. Dress normally, but groom appropriately.
Other tips to keep in mind
- Don’t drink too much to impair your judgment, or get drunk if you must drink. It kills the vibe.
- Arrive minutes earlier or on time. It’s respectful and helps you calm down.
- Don’t send them money for transport or anything; it might be a scam.
- Don’t do something precipitous like borrowing a huge amount of money to go and see them.
- If you’re all sporty, try a fun sport you both enjoy and bond over it. But only if you’re comfortable doing it.
- Don’t take out your phone in a silent moment. Embrace the silence and pick up a new topic.
- Make your own observations; you learn a lot from this.
What should you do when meeting up with someone you first met online?
Keep an open mind, relax, and engage them as a friend. Prioritize your safety and accept that the date can go either way, but do your best to make it successful.
How do you introduce yourself to someone you just met online?
Keep it straightforward and casual; you’re not in an interview. Start light; you will go into details as the conversation goes on. Make it fun to lighten up the mood.
How do you keep a conversation with someone you just met online?
Talk about things you both have an interest in. This way, the conversation is not one-sided. Also, give them a chance to talk too. Show passion during your conversation. For example, when they ask what you do, don’t just say you work in IT. You chose that career for a reason, so be enthusiastic about it.
The success of your first date is equally your responsibility. So play your part and help the other person play theirs.
But remember to keep yourself safe because they are still strangers, regardless of how long you’ve communicated on the phone.
Utilize the above tips to make your date successful.
All the best!