Why an Older Woman Dating a Younger Man Is Not So Bad

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Why an Older Woman Dating a Younger Man Is Not So Bad

We live in a world where certain accepted social norms exist for women and others for men. However, more and more, these stereotypes of what’s “acceptable” behavior for each gender are changing. although many of us women might wish things were changing more rapidly. 

Women who date younger men often don’t receive the same approval as men who do the same. However, there are many reasons why an older woman would date a younger man. 

We’re going to explain why an older woman dating a younger man is often treated as taboo and also look at some of the benefits of women dating younger men, 

But first, let’s delve deeper into this dating double standard for women. 

The double standard

It’s “normal” for men to date younger women. We see it everywhere in our daily lives: celebrities, politicians, and the average Joe are all seen dating women, sometimes even half their age. But what about women who decide to date younger?

A young man and his girlfriend watching a movie on a laptop together
A young man and his girlfriend watching a movie on a laptop together

Cougar Culture

If you look up the definition of “cougar,” the first definition may not shock you. You’ll find that, yes, indeed, it is defined as a large, powerful cat found in the Americas.

Then there’s the slang definition: a middle-aged woman looking for a romantic relationship with a younger man. 

There’s nothing outright offensive about this term, defined in this manner. However, the cultural connotation of cougars is certainly negative. When calling a woman a “cougar,” it isn’t usually done with admiration. The term is often filled with negative judgment.

Older, wealthy men who date much younger women are referred to as “sugar daddies.” Certainly, there is also some negative judgment behind this slang. These relationships are often motivated by sex and money. Of course, some end up being more serious and committed. 

However, in general, it seems that men are looked at much differently by society as a whole when they date younger women. They often receive a cultural “high five” rather than harsh judgment. “Good for him,” they say.

However, the dating game is experiencing a huge shift. New generations are fed up with the “traditional” ideas of relationships and love. And hopefully, this will lead to the acceptance of women who find love with younger men rather than just more offensive slang and judging whispers.

Age shouldn’t matter

Love can be found in surprising places. While there’s certainly an age difference that feels “ickier” than others (think Hugh Hefner here), there’s nothing wrong with dating older or younger than your age.

As much as I believe the standards should be the same for both men and women, I’ll admit that I’ve fallen victim to societal standards in my dating life. I tend to find older men attractive and usually end up dating men who are at least five years older than me. 

Recently, I got swept up in a new relationship with a younger man. Ironically enough, I’m actually five years older than him. At first, I felt self-conscious and judged about the whole thing. When I talked about the situation with my friends, they saw absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Societal expectations are strange. I consider myself to be a feminist, so I was surprised by my own bias on this topic. However, some things get internalized, and I’m glad that it was brought to my attention. 

My relationship with this younger man was fun, goofy, sensual, and exciting. So, I have expanded my dating standards to now include this exciting world of younger men. 

What was it that turned me on to the idea of seeing a younger man? Well, let’s get into the specific advantages that make dating a younger man desirable. 

Why an older woman dating a younger man has some appeal

Why an older woman dating a younger man has some appeal
Why an older woman dating a younger man has some appeal

Alright, let’s get into the fun part: What makes dating a younger man so fun? 

While every person and relationship will vary, and we can’t make any blanket statements on how every situation with a younger man will be, there are certain commonalities that most women dating a younger man will find. 

Based on their age and certain general themes, we can look at some likely benefits that make dating a younger man appealing to a lot of women.

The Physical Connection

There are certain physical and sexual tendencies you’re going to find when dating a man in his 20s as opposed to when he is in his 30s or 40s. I love having a strong, passionate, physical connection with the men I date. I’ve certainly found that with older men.

However, let’s face it, younger men have a higher libido. They are almost always ready and willing to have some physical fun. 

Science and hormones back this up. Men are hitting their sexual peak in their 20s, when their testosterone is at its highest, while women tend to hit their sexual prime in their 30s and 40s. 

Let’s think about that for a moment, then. Sexual connection is at the top of many people’s lists when dating. While passion isn’t everything when building a long-term relationship, everyone isn’t always looking for their forever partner. Sometimes you just want a bit of passion and fun. 

That means that a 35-year-old woman and a 25-year-old man who are both attracted to each other are likely to have some pretty steamy physical connections. Who doesn’t want that in their dating life?

Another factor in this is that many women have found what they like with time and experience. They know what turns them on, and they know how to direct a partner to give them the most pleasure. This means that older women are more likely to have better sex in general, just because they know themselves better. 

Basically, women in their 30s and older have probably learned a lot from their 20s that they now have the confidence to accept and implement in their dating and sex lives. 

More Active

Again, this will certainly all depend on the man and his lifestyle. I’ve dated older men who lead active lifestyles and are always up for an active adventure. However, generally, younger men will be more physically active and motivated. 

I’ve dated older men with businesses, kids, and millions of responsibilities. Let’s face it, they aren’t always the most energetic bunch. On a rare day off, they really just want to chill out. I’m an active woman who’s really only responsible for herself. When I have a free day, I want to be on the move: surfing, hiking, snorkeling, dancing, etc.

Younger men tend to have fewer responsibilities and more motivation to get out there and go on an adventure. I know that’s a big generalization, and there are many exceptions to every rule, but, in my experience, I’ve found younger men to be more spontaneous and energetic.

Young man waiting for his date
Young man waiting for his date

Less Commitment 

Realistically, the goal of your dating life isn’t always going to be to find a long-term partner. Sometimes you may just want a fling or something lighter than a big commitment. 

Guess who loves a commitment-free situation? Well, that may be a trick question, because most men tend to love that scenario, no matter their age. But, again, generally speaking, younger men are looking for less commitment. 

Look at it this way: you remember what it’s like to be in your 20s, right? You’re just discovering yourself—your passions, goals, needs, etc. There’s a lot of learning to be done in your 20s. And that learning comes from many different experiences. 

Dating a younger man in their 20s doesn’t have to be a serious thing. It can just be fun, which is what we all really need more of. 

Dating a younger man

There are many reasons why an older woman would find dating a younger man appealing. When it comes to dating, don’t limit yourself to societal norms. I’ve learned from experience that dating outside of your comfort zone can be an amazing experience. 

So, if you’re a single woman who’s looking to spice up her dating life, try dating a younger man. Just be prepared to be with someone who is experiencing a different stage in life. That can be really fun, but it can also lead to some misunderstandings. Remember that age differences can make some things more difficult, but other things more exciting. 

Like any dating experience, go into dating a younger man with an open heart, a positive mind, and no expectations, and you’re sure to have a good time.

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Sarah is a writer at Flingorlove.com. While she enjoys writing on a variety of topics, her favorite is dating and relationships. She’s curious about dating trends and how they continuously evolve. When dating gets hard, she likes to find humor and reason in the situations that she affronts. Through a combination of personal experience and research, Sarah loves connecting with readers through her pieces on their shared dating experiences.