Let’s talk about some social quirks. You may have wondered how come your next-door neighbour couple seems to rhyme along quite well despite their 8-year-old age gap? Or you may be in a similar tongue twister where you are dating someone 8 years older or younger than you.
One thing I know about dating is that obstacles that impede relationships sometimes seem huge, but what makes true lovebirds overlook these obstacles is even stronger. The chemistry behind your relationship is often stronger than the age-based social conformities.
A few questions about this… Let’s talk about them in this chronology.
Is ‘8 Years’ A Big Age Gap In A Relationship?
Is it? Well, if you ask me, I’d tell you that it depends. I have the liberal view that societal conformity should not stand in the way of relationships. If you think you’ve got the spark that keeps your relationship alive, then age considerations should often be a non-issue in your relationship.
To be honest, 8 years is not a big age gap in a relationship.
Can An 8-Year Age Gap Work In A Relationship?
What’s funny here is that this question is often posed when the older individual in the relationship is the woman. It is often perfectly okay for an older man to couple up with a much younger woman with a more than 8-year age difference.
So, what is my 2 cents’ worth here? Yes, it can work. The glue that holds the relationship together is the chemistry between the two of you. The honesty, loyalty, kindness, and care of your partner should always override this consideration.
Is an 8-Year Age Gap Good for Marriage?
I know couples with an 8-year age gap that are madly in love with each other. So, from a personal standpoint, I think it works absolutely fine.
However, I also understand that the fact that this question is even a consideration is because there are people who believe such an age gap is too large for marriage.
My advice here, as always, is that if you feel strongly that this is not ideal for marriage you should always follow your heart and your tastes. We are all different. I’ll agree to that!
How To Bridge The Age Gap In Your Relationship
How do you bridge this gap? This is a fair question to ask. How about I reframe the question this way: How do we make age a nonfactor in our relationship?
I think that an 8-year age gap is not a very large age gap in any relationship. However, for all couples with age gaps in their relationships, a solid foundation for your relationship should always overcome the age gap consideration. A foundation of loyalty, honesty, caring, and kindness for each other should always overlook this.
If they are 8 years older than you:
Societal norms for women dating younger men are allowed… Let’s say even promoted. Most women, ideally, also want to marry someone older than they are. For a woman if your hubby has an 8-year age difference than you that means you are getting someone more mature, someone wiser perhaps even someone to look up to.
This is where it gets a little touchy. If your wife is 8 years older than you, this often implies that you will have to make childbearing decisions pretty early on in your relationship due to the natural childbearing limitations of the female body.
Otherwise, you should be okay.
If They Are 8 Years Younger Than You
For a woman, if your hubby is 8 years younger than you, the most important consideration here is to note that it could be a touchy issue for him. Though he might not bring it up, he might have self-esteem issues about it, and he might ponder whether you might look down on him as a result.
What to do? Just make sure that respect for each other is a big pillar of your relationship. Otherwise, I’d still give your relationship a good seal of approval!
For a man, an 8-year age difference is perfectly okay. A point to add: For your relationship to prosper, just make sure that your relationship is built on a good solid foundation.
Things To Considering Before Dating Someone Who Has A 7 Or 8 Year Age Gap
Stage Of Life
Every person’s stage of life is a huge determinant in how they approach dating relationships. When you are young, it’s all fun and games. When you are older, things get serious and you have a much more long-term approach to dating.
If someone is quite young, then everything here is pretty lax. This is often a period of having fun and exploration. The idea of marriage isn’t even considered here. So have fun.
Period here? I approximate this from someone’s teens to mid-20s.
On the other hand, for someone older, from their mid-20s upwards, one can say that they have higher maturity levels. A person’s stage of life also defines their sexual maturity. They have been through several relationships, have learned in the process, and know what they are looking for. Here, long-term relationship plans can be discussed.
What They’re Looking For (Long Term or Short Term)
It is always important to always open up to your dating partner about what you are looking for in a relationship.
Maybe you want to keep it casual, make it open, or you’re looking for a long-term partnership. Ask if your dating partner is looking for the same thing.
For someone that just wants to keep it casual, a 7- or 8-year-old age gap is often not a consideration. No one is looking to get hitched here. What determines how the relationship will pan out is often the sexual chemistry between both of you. Casual relationships are often about looking for some companionship, which is pretty okay!
For someone with long-term considerations, the age gap might be a consideration. I’d propose that if you feel that the age gap might be an issue with your partner, then how about you bring it up in a conversation between the two of you. Raise any issues that you might have here, see how your dating partner responds, and then decide on how to go forward with it.
Yes, we’re talking about legal implications here. Surprisingly, the government often has a say in how people approach relationships. Various jurisdictions have various legal codes that govern sexual activity. You might balk at that, but that’s the law!
For example, in Canada, the age of consent for sexual activity is 16. They apply a “close in age rule” to relationships. This means that 12- and 13-year-olds can engage in sexual activity with only people who are no more than 2 years older, and 14- and 15-year-olds can only engage in sexual activity with those who are no more than 5 years older than them. So, a 22-year-old trying to date a 15-year-old is a no-no.
I think that these legal codes are pretty common sense. Just make sure to check the laws in your jurisdiction.
As I have repeated several times throughout this article, I do not think that an 8-year-old age gap should be a huge obstacle that impedes your relationship. It’s not a very large age gap, nor is it a smaller conventional age gap in typical relationships.
Hence, someone might have some hesitancy about pursuing someone with this age gap. As I have said before, all these considerations are societal but mostly personal.
So, take my two cents of advice here but also weigh your considerations when pursuing this kind of relationship further.