Dating in general is too common a topic, but today I want to delve into the topic of age.
Let’s talk about dating someone younger than you, five years younger to be precise.
Age is always a factor in any relationship, right from the dating stage up to a well-established relationship.
What are my opinions? What is the conventional knowledge here?
Let’s delve into it…
Is 5 Years A Big Age Gap?
In my view, 5 years is not a big age gap in any relationship. What I’d consider a big age gap would be in the realm of 10, 15, or even past 20 age-gap couples. One popular relationship I’d rather mention is that of the French president and his much older wife.
Now that’s a big age gap in a relationship. Yet, from the look of it, they seem to rhyme and compliment each other, and their ship is steady.
If such a relationship with such a huge age gap is perfectly okay, then a 5-year age gap in a relationship is nothing to worry about.
Is It Normal To Date Someone 5 Years Younger Than You?
Yes, it is. You’d be pretty surprised to know the number of happily married people with such age gaps in their relationships.
This is the typical age gap between couples, and I’d say that you share much more in common than you think.
You’ve probably experienced the same cultural experiences, perhaps happen to share the same musical tastes, perhaps attained various educational levels at the same time, et cetera.
Having common interests is a major factor that keeps relationships together, and having all these similar interests all adds up to it.
Is It Wrong To Date Someone 5 Years Younger?
Mostly, no. There are no moral or legal penal codes that prohibit these kinds of relationships, except if you are engaged in dating someone who has not reached the legal age of consent.
I view this as just basic common sense. Otherwise, love should always transcend age barriers. It is never okay for this age-gap consideration to be an obstacle when you find love.
6 Things You Need To Know Before Dating A Younger Person
I’d like to just go through a few things that I’d consider important for anyone to know if they intend to date a younger person. This is not a definitive list, but it should be a pretty good guidebook.
1. Assess Whether You Have The Clarity On What You Are Looking For
I don’t know how to emphasize this much more clearly. Is this just a rebound relationship to get over your previous broken relationship?
Is it one of those all-too-common peer pressure relationships? Those kinds of relationships where the analogy is that “because Joe or Jane has a boyfriend/ girlfriend, then I also need to hop on the bandwagon….”
Or is that the kind of relationship where you are sure of yourself, understand what you need, and know what you are looking for in the relationship? If you ask me, I’d prefer the latter.
Always assess whether you have clarity on what you are looking for in EVERY relationship.
2. Know That They Might Not Be Emotionally Mature As You Are
I think this might be conventional wisdom. You grow wiser as you get older. The more relationship experiences you go through, the more emotionally mature you are and the more stable you are in your relationships.
Young people are often still learning the ins and outs of relationships. So, you might find yourself not on par with each other on several issues in the relationship.
This is something that you need to put into consideration when pursuing this kind of relationship.
3. They Have Baggage Too
Unless you are dating a complete virgin, which is often a rare occurrence these days, most people have gone through one, two, three, or more relationships.
So, by the time that you get to date someone, always be prepared, knowing that there’s a high probability that you are not their first partner.
This means that the person you are dating has relationship baggage. So, don’t go and date someone 5 years younger because your ex just couldn’t stop bringing their ex into your conversations.
You might end up dating someone freshly heartbroken, and we all know how bitter young heartbreaks can be.
4. Both Of You Might Be In Different Stages Of Life
With different ages come different life experiences, different life outlooks, and different goals. Which stage you are in life determines your relationship choices, among other considerations.
Now, this is not a rule to say that you can’t have a good relationship despite both of you being at different stages in life.
You can still have a good relationship despite both of you being in different stages of life.
However, most relationships that thrive are with people who are in similar stages of life. You want to get married; your partner also wants to get married; you want just a casual relationship; he or she also wants the same; et cetera.
5. They Are Most Often Not Ready for Commitment
Young folks often balk at the idea of being committed to one person for a substantial period while pursuing their relationships.
Well, let’s not be judgmental towards them here. You probably might have been the same while you were younger.
Someone 5 years younger than you might be in a stage of exploration, and they often hop from one relationship to another.
They might pursue relationships just for fun or just for company.
Now, unless you find someone who is 5 years younger but also looking for a commitment, don’t pursue this kind of relationship unless you are prepared to be disappointed and heartbroken.
6. You Should at Least Have Common Interests
Do I need to say this louder? What sticks when the initial elation of meeting someone new fades away? Your common interests do.
They serve as something to bring you closer. I’d say most marriages, relationships are guided by this. It’s all too common to see people coupling up with people of their same profession, same social circles, etc.
If you balk at the idea of being in a relationship with someone who is an introvert and prefers to stay indoors all the time, and if you, on the other hand, are more outgoing, then don’t pursue that relationship.
You’ll have to find someone as extroverted as you are, and you’ll click.
Dating A Guy Who’s 5 Years Younger Than You
What’s my opinion here? I have jotted down all my points above, but maybe I should assess this with a gender-based lens.
This is not your typical relationship.
Often, it is the guy who is 5 years or older in the relationship.
What you need to note here is that you need to make sure that you have respect for your partner in your relationship.
He might have thoughts on whether you look down on him as a result of his age and any disrespect, and belittling is a sure guarantee to make things worse in your relationship.
Dating A Woman Who’s 5 Years Younger Than You
This is often accepted by society and is often your typical relationship where the man is the oldest in the relationship. A five-year age gap here should be no problem. Just make sure, as I have always insisted, that your relationship is built on a solid foundation.
Be open, know what you are looking for, have trust, loyalty, and honesty, and your relationship is off to a positive track.
Is It OK to Marry Someone 5 Years Younger?
Unless your love interest is under the legal age of consent, then this is perfectly okay. Why should this age difference be an obstacle to your marriage?
If you had overlooked this age consideration from when you started dating, I do not see a substantial reason as to why you should consider it here.
It’s perfectly okay. Go ahead and pitch that proposal!
Conclusion
A 5-year age gap in your relationship should not be the obstacle that keeps you from pursuing someone that you feel is your perfect match.
Your heart and how you feel about the other person should always be the deciding factors in pursuing your relationship.
I’d like to end this with a question. Would you marry a jerk that you share a similar birthday with or someone you care about and happen to be 5 years older or younger than you?
I think it’s safe for me to leave that to you.
