Let’s talk about the dating game as a Christian woman, a game that most singles never think they’ll conquer because it’s not a walk in the park.
But how hard can it be?
You meet a Christian man. You connect. You both work on building a solid connection. You like him. He likes you. You move on to the next big step.
Easy, right?
Not exactly.
One of the greatest frustrations of Christian dating comes from the Bible’s lack of a step-by-step guide or set of directions to follow when approaching the dating scene.
Dating can be challenging for most people. But there are plenty of amazing and godly men out here looking for single women to date.
So, let’s discuss some Christian dating tips for ladies that could positively impact your life as a Christian woman.
How is Christian dating different from modern dating?
Christian dating and modern dating are entirely different. Let’s look at the elements that make them different from each other.
Christian dating
Christian dating is a method of establishing a premarital relationship between a man and a woman with the ultimate goal of marriage.
The Bible doesn’t provide instructions on how to go about dating, but it acts as a reference point, with some scriptures guiding us on how to do it right.
For instance,
- 1st Corinthians 6:9 talks about how people who engage in sexual immorality will not inherit the Kingdom of God
- 1st Thessalonians 4:1-8 tells us to avoid sexual immorality and learn to control our bodies.
- Songs of Solomon 2:7 tells us not to awaken love until it so desires
- James 1:13–15 talks about temptation and evil desires, which give way to sin.
- Romans 13:8–14 tells us to love others as we love ourselves and not to focus on the desires of the flesh.
- Titus 2:1-8 speaks to us as young men and women about focusing on self-control and godliness.
Modern dating
Modern dating is the method of carrying out a premarital relationship between a man and a woman that may or may not have marriage as the goal.
The modern dating approach uses terms such as “casual dating” or “dating for fun” to show that people have no intention of establishing a commitment.
Of course, this type of dating is not referenced in the Bible.
The differences:
There are three main ways in which Christian dating and modern dating differ.
- In Christian dating, the relationship is centered around Christ, while the modern dating approach is self-centered. In modern dating, people focus on their individual needs rather than their needs as a couple.
- In the modern dating approach, intimacy precedes commitment, while in Christian dating, commitment precedes intimacy.
- In modern dating, people can actually “test-drive” marriage, and if it doesn’t work out, they move on to other people. The Christian dating approach discourages marriage-level commitment until the commitment exists before the Lord.
The best Christian dating tips for ladies
If you could write a list of all the different dating advice you’ve heard as a woman, how many pages would you need? Let me guess… quite a bit!
Some common advice includes:
- Don’t settle for less.
- Don’t limit yourself.
- Date someone who accepts you for who you are.
- Know your deal-breakers.
- Don’t engage in any sexual activities before you’re married.
- Go on group dates.
And so much.
If you’re a part of any Christian community, you know what we’re talking about.
There’s no end to the supposed “dating advice for women.”
Amid all the overwhelming tips and advice, many Christian women still wonder how to approach dating.
Here are the most important Christian dating tips for ladies to always remember:
Always focus on the Lord
Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
As a Christian lady, we know you try so hard to create a life focused on the Lord. However, often during dating, especially in the initial stages, it’s easy to get distracted. Whether you meet someone through a mutual friend or even a christian dating site, you may become infatuated with them because there is a new excitement, and you may begin to seek fulfillment from the other person.
The first and most important step in dating should be having faith in God in all situations. Know Him and trust Him with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind (Luke 10:27). Therefore, try to focus your time and effort on the Lord before other things.
With this in mind, you allow God to lead you, and you can overcome any distraction or temptation that comes your way.
Know yourself
Naturally, we tend to focus so much time and energy on what we want from the other person that we rarely consider what we can offer.
- How do you communicate?
- What’s your attachment style?
- What are your core values?
- Are you ready to be with someone?
- What qualities can you bring and use to impact the other person’s life?
- What are your weaknesses?
In a world full of expectations, self-awareness is key to having stronger relationships.
A relationship is more fulfilling when it has two people who know themselves well.
Consider dating someone with a godly character
As a Christian, whoever you date has the potential to be your husband. So make sure to date someone who has godly qualities.
Most single ladies are often blinded by physical appearance or other things, such as a sense of humor. But does he have a personal relationship with God? Can the relationship help you grow your relationship with God?
The Bible clearly says believers shouldn’t associate with non-believers. 2 Corinthians 6:14–15 says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. Or what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
However, just because he’s a Christian doesn’t mean he’s the right man for you. You have to consider his characteristics carefully.
Here are some essential qualities to look out for:
- He’s committed to growing his relationship with God
- Integrity
- He can lead boldly
- He embodies wisdom
- He’s respectful
- Humility
- A man that bears the fruits of the holy spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)
- A man willing to pray with you and for you
- A man who forgives and seeks forgiveness
Seek wisdom from others
Asking for advice from the people who love you and want the best for you is crucial. Most times, these are the people who can give you honest feedback and tell you if you’re going wrong or wandering from the will of God.
So, lean on your godly family members, friends, pastors, counselors, or mentors for support.
Commit to sexual purity
We live in a society obsessed with sex. Pornography, prostitution, dirty jokes, and much more are all over our television, music, movies, and social media. Our culture has become functionally secular and lost belief in the sacredness of sex, which is quite unfortunate.
But the Bible advises us to avoid sexual immorality like the plague.
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified, that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.” 1st Thessalonians 4:3-5
“But among you, there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impunity, or greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk, or coarse joking, which are out of place.” Ephesians 5:3-4
- Sex is a sacred union in marriage.
- Sex is only good if practiced inside God’s designed boundaries.
- Sexual purity starts in the mind, not the body.
Trust God’s timing
No matter how long you’ve waited for Mr. Right, don’t be in a hurry to meet someone and get married. True love is a process, and it takes time.
Be patient, and trust God to lead you to the right man in His time. He knows what he’s doing and wants the best for your life.
Final thoughts
Dating can be fun. It can be challenging as well. But you should take it seriously because deciding who to date is one of the most important decisions you’ll have to make, especially if you’re dating to marry.
Christian dating doesn’t have to be complicated. If you follow the commands from the Bible and let God guide you, the perfect man will come at the right time. And as you go through this interesting process, ask God for discernment to help you walk in His Spirit while still avoiding temptations and sin.
