Dating a Military Man Long Distance

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Dating a Military Man Long Distance

Dating a military man in a long distance relationship comes with a lot of sacrifices, but it can also be rewarding. 

Aside from the perks, being away from each other strengthens your relationship. Being alone helps you thrive in your own space, and it can also foster a good communication system with your partner.

And though there are downsides like unplanned schedules, irregular contact, and rain checks on a date night, this post is structured to make you understand that you can still have a happy and healthy relationship even with the distance.

I know you have questions, so let’s start with the most commonly asked one when it comes to dating a military man in a long distance relationship.

Do Military long-distance relationships work?

For this one, I need you to think about why you’re with your partner, examine why it’s worth being with this person, and I know his being in a uniform makes you swoon, but think beyond that. 

Let me remind you that you got together with this person because you love and respect him and you see potential in what you two have. Now, forget about every reason it wouldn’t work out and make sure this works.

Yes, distance can be crazy, and a lot could happen, but it’s your choice to love and fight for that person every day without giving up.

So, does a military long-distance relationship work? Yes, but it depends on you.

Why do most Military relationships fail?

Why do most Military relationships fail
Why do most Military relationships fail

Every relationship without trust and commitment will fail, but why do most military relationships fail?

  1. Infidelity: Distance is a core problem in any military relationship, and when that happens, there is a lack of intimacy with your partner. Let’s say you have someone else filling in for his position.

Let’s get real: you might be tempted and once you get into a sexual relationship with someone else, you forfeit your relationship; the trust is gone and you lose your partner because he doesn’t want a cheat.

  1. Absence: Absence can make the heart grow fonder, but it can also make two hearts distant. Sometimes, people cheat because their partner is absent.

For instance, if it’s Valentine’s Day and you’re all alone, which is okay, but… not everyone can stay that way for so long; some (or should I say most) decide to fill in the void with someone else.

As you can see, these two reasons are interwoven, but your relationship doesn’t have to fail if you’re willing to put in the hard work.

How to deal with a long distance relationship with a military man 

To level up with the frustrations and make the best out of your relationship, here are some of the things you need to do, even when it’s really difficult:


In this case, communication can be your best friend, but it can also be your worst enemy.

Let me explain: when you communicate effectively with your partner, it creates understanding. I know you can’t always talk to this person every hour of the day, but you can plan how you want it to be.

You might be in different time zones, but with a proper plan, that should be no problem. And when you two talk without hiding anything from each other, you’re on your way to a great relationship.

But if you decide to communicate on days that are only convenient for you, then you’re defeating the purpose of communicating.

Leave no room for that and get the conversation started. 

A woman doing a video call with his Military boyfriend during holidays
A woman doing a video call with his Military boyfriend during holidays

Believe in what you two have

Do you believe that this relationship is going somewhere? Then hold on to that hope. 

Don’t give up. Don’t get tempted by anyone that wants to ruin what you two have and believe in your love. 

There will always be rocky situations, but trust me, you will get through.

Don’t isolate yourself from the world

Look, just because your partner has been deployed to another location doesn’t mean your life has to end. 

Meet up with friends and get close to his family and loved ones to build something meaningful with them. They will always be a part of him, and doing that will bring you close to him in ways you’ve never imagined.

Send letters

There are going to be days when you two don’t have access to each other, so rather than think of what’s not, get seated, go through the old-fashioned lane, and send him a letter. 

Ask how he’s doing, tell him how much you love him, and he’s going to appreciate it.

Improve on yourself

This is really simple: try out something different, re-discover a new you, and find new passions like cooking or knitting.

Do something for yourself to add more meaning to your life because your man will keep exploring new places, so don’t stop living out your own dreams too.

Send gifts

If you know what kind of place he’s in, you might decide to send him a care package. Make sure you send something that will keep him thinking about you.

A woman sending a care package for her military boyfriend
A woman sending a care package for her military boyfriend

Don’t rush things

Go at a pace that’s convenient for you. Just because military men are trained to be ready for anything that comes their way doesn’t mean you rush into your relationship with him. Start with a friendship and leave room for growth.

Accept the fact that his schedules are unpredictable

He’ll choose the military over you, and please, you have to respect that’s his duty. Don’t get angry when there’s something important to you and he has to leave. 

Act like you are in a relationship with two people: him and the military. Accept him for whatever he chooses to do, as long as it’s his job.

Play fun games

There are code languages in the military, so ask him to tell you a few to decode. It’ll help pass the time and make you feel close to him. And it shows that you support what he does and you want to be a part of it.

Treat it and invest in it like every other relationship

I understand that things are different when dating a military guy, but treat it like every other relationship you’ve been in. 

Invest your time and emotions in it and take what you have with him seriously.

He might keep some things from you

There are things he can’t tell you about, and you have to respect that. Don’t feel like he’s hiding something from you because, in most cases, he isn’t.

His guys are a part of the package

You can’t change anything about his guys coming over and the late-night drinking in his house, so be ready to accept them. And whatever you do, you must also include them. 

Send them care packages too. After all, they are his friends.

Celebrate when you two will meet again

I know this is subject to change because some things could come up, but be patient and remember, there’s no way about it—as long as he’s safe, you two will definitely meet again.

So, save the date, start planning, and count down to the next time he’ll have you in his arms.

I promise you, the distance and all that comes with it is always worth it.

Here are some tips for long distance relationships

Do Military guys move fast in a relationship?

Military guys live a fast-paced life. They are trained to always be ready, but you alone can decide if the next thing you want is to get married to him. 

So, as much as they move fast, it’s still up to you.

How long do Military relationships last?

Sure, deployments mean distance, but are you ready for commitment, communication, understanding, and trust? Because all these four factors and many more will determine if it’s going to last.

There are no expiry dates, no timelines, unless you’re willing to give up on your relationship.

How do you know if a military guy is serious about you?

He’s trying his best to communicate with you. You’re not the only one planning the call schedules. From his side, he’s also doing that.

He’s loyal. They are trained to be that way, but if there is no bad news from his friends about someone else, then he’s serious about you.

He’s flirty with you. Through Facetime, he’s still winking at you and using words with you.

He introduces you to his friends and family. If you’re at the early stage of your relationship, you might not know his family and friends, but if he’s making plans, then he wants you.

He’s protective of you. Tell his friends you’re his girl to let them know you’re taken, and he’s down to fight for you.

He talks to you about the big stuff. If your guy has been talking and wants you to listen, maybe chip in something, then he’s serious about it.

There’s no one-size-fits-all to this, but when a military guy decides to commit to you, then he’ll do it with the best of what he has.


A long distance relationship with a military man can be grueling, but it doesn’t have to be.

In everything, show him that you will always be by his side, and he’ll love you for that. And… never forget, when it gets too hard, be patient. You can do this!

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Over the years, Stephanie has had her fair share of dating experiences. While some turned out great, others weren't so great. She believes that relationships are meant to be fun, exciting, and full of laughter. She wants to help men and women become confident, attractive, and successful in their romantic relationships.