Getting over the saddest part of your life is not easy. The mere thought of losing your life partner sends a shiver down the spine. However, the death of your spouse doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.
If you want to rejoin your friends in exploring the dating world, now’s the time. We’ve discussed some of the most helpful dating advice for widowers.
Learn about the challenges that might come your way. Don’t forget to be weary of the red flags of dating a widower. Get back into the dating game and start living again.
Can a Widower Truly Love Again?
A widower can surely love again and find the happiness that’s missing from his life. The only thing that’s stopping a widower from finding love is his grieving past.
Losing someone you love takes away a big chunk of your heart, let alone losing your life partner. Yet it’s still a part of life that cannot dictate how you spend the rest of your life.
You can find true love again and again, even after losing your life partner. There is no timeline or restricted number of attempts to love someone sincerely with all your heart.
Dating Advice for Widowers: 5 Effective Dating Tips for a Widower
Are you done feeling lost after your life partner’s death? It’s time to take an encouraging step towards getting back to your normal life.
Here are five effective dating tips for a widower to get back into the world of dating.
Take Your Time
It’s understandable to feel the pressure when you’re starting your dating life again after a massive loss.
The death of a spouse is not some silly memory or an incident that you can forget in a few minutes, hours, or days. Some people even take as much time as a few years to move on.
So, the wise step would be to take things slow and gradually move on to the dating part.
You may feel attracted to an old best friend who was there for you in the tough times or someone new. Always start by getting to know them first before jumping the gun to start dating.
Don’t Reminisce Your Memories
Your memories are the biggest obstacles that stop you from moving on. Relishing the memories of your deceased partner might not be a good idea if you’re planning to enter the dating world again.
Although remembering your partner on special occasions as a tribute is precious, living in their memories is not ideal.
Try taking your mind off the past and avoid taking occasional trips down memory lane. Especially when you start seeing someone, don’t reminisce and compare your date with your deceased spouse.
Put a Stop to Your Free-Flowing Emotions
Losing a spouse damages the mental state like nothing else. Suffering the loss of someone dear to you can wake up a long list of strange emotions.
You start to feel things that you may have never experienced before. That leaves you with a wrecked brain filled with a million free-flowing emotions about your deceased spouse.
It’s hard to keep your feelings under complete control, but you must try to halt them in their tracks.
Put a full stop to your free-flowing emotions. Avoid being a total emotional mess in front of your date. It’s the worst way to start your first date because it leaves a very bad first impression.
Don’t Burdenize Your Date With Your Grief
Once you’re ready to date new people, make sure you’ve dealt with your grief. Even if you’re struggling, don’t pressure your date with the burden of your grieving emotions.
It’s important to understand that your date is not your psychotherapist. You should avoid venting all your saddening thoughts on him/her. That’s how you scare your dates away and they start ignoring your texts.
People date other people to have fun while they get to know each other. Sharing all your sad memories is not a great idea for initiating a date.
Wait until you’ve built a serious relationship with your date before sharing your grieving moments with them.
Don’t Try to Please Everyone
If you are ready to test the waters of the dating world, it should be your decision. No one should stop you or interfere in your dating life. Be your boss and don’t try to please everyone.
Only you can decide when it’s right to enter the dating world. If you’re forced by the people around you to start dating again, it wouldn’t work at all. You’ll be an emotional mess, and your date will be clueless about what to do.
Similarly, not dating should also be your own decision. You shouldn’t blame it on your kids or anyone in the family.
“Don’t try to excuse yourself by saying you’re doing it for someone else’s sake.”
~Xerxes Break.
What Are the Red Flags When Dating a Widower?
If you’re dating a widower who’s not ready to let go of the past, it’s a big red flag. Dating someone who’s still grieving over the death of their spouse is not a wise idea.
Some common red flags that indicate dating a widower that you may encounter are:
- Unsteady mood swings
- All-time high emotions
- Very sensitive and sentimental state
- Won’t always be available when you need them
- Won’t pay much attention to you
- Will dismiss your issues
- Constant renting about their previous life.
What Are the Challenges of Dating a Widower?
Most widowers stay stuck in a limbo state after the death of their spouses. That’s the biggest challenge of dating a widower.
It’s either because the widowers are scared to take the chances or because they feel guilty about doing so. Anyhow, limiting your dating life and withdrawing yourself completely from the social world is not the solution.
If you want to start feeling normal again, you must push your past aside. You have to shut off all the memories of your deceased spouse and focus on the next best thing.
When Should a Widower Start Dating?
A widower can start dating again anytime after a few months of the death of his spouse. Waiting for approximately five to six months is enough time to mourn and deal with the loss of your loved one.
Grieving is a long process that has no predefined end as to when you will start feeling fine. You must push your feet forward and force yourself to move on.
Once you pick up the pace, each step starts to feel lighter than the previous one. That’s how you can return to living your normal life. One without the feeling of guilt and betrayal.
How Soon Is Too Soon to Date After a Spouse Dies?
Dating someone the next day, right after your spouse dies, isn’t a good idea. Anywhere between a week or a month is too soon to start dating after your spouse is dead.
Getting back to dating people after you’ve lost your life partner is a huge step. This is a step that you should take cautiously and slowly.
Grief is a major reason why you might feel the need to quickly start dating new people. The feeling of loneliness and abandonment doesn’t go away even if you start dating again.
You might feel like dating helps to push past the hurting emotions, but try setting emotional boundaries. You must take your time and deal with your grief properly.
Conclusion
Dating after you’ve faced the death of your spouse is a tough call. You might never progress without dealing with your guilt and grief.
As per our dating advice for widowers, you should avoid living in the past and start focusing on the future. That’s how you can begin your dating journey again. Happy Dating!
