We live in a culture that champions female youth and shames female age.
As much as we are trying to do away with the stereotypes of young men dating older women, it would be unwise to assume your dating life as a woman remains intact as you get older.
The sad reality is that you have to do more than find a partner. But this doesn’t mean your dating life is doomed.
You can still enjoy dating and have all the fun in the world. This article explains how you can enjoy dating at an older age but starts with the unfortunate truth that no one is willing to talk about.
Let’s get started!
Dating for Women: The Truth About Dating as You Get Older
With age comes terrific things (or at least that’s what I thought). I mean, you get to live alone, drive, and even vote!
But wait until you hit your mid-30s before partnering up. Your age becomes a factor in ways you didn’t expect. Even worse, in ways that make you feel terrible and helpless.
If you think I’m exaggerating, hear me out. My friend (female) hit thirty the other day. So, as the honest person she is, she changed her age from twenty-nine to thirty on her online dating profile.
She noticed an instantaneous drop in her matches, so as a test, she decided to change it back to twenty-nine, and voila! Her matches shot up.
I couldn’t believe it; how does a one-year age difference make such a huge difference?
Then it hit me, women are on a biological clock, and like a product, they seem to have an expiration date. Which sucks, considering men get more desirable with age.
Even when getting older was never an issue for you, it starts getting to you when everyone, including your family, points fingers. They won’t notice your financial stability or how smarter you’ve become, all they see is a single woman at old age.
And there is so little you can do. Use all the expensive anti-aging creams and hit the gym, but immediately you mention your age, it becomes the center of attention.
But I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to look good. If it makes you feel good, which it does, then go for it.
You might find a way to love yourself in your old age, but if you still want to date or find a partner, then you, my friend, will not have such a great time. It’s sad, but it’s the reality of life; the earlier you accept it, the better.
Why is dating so hard for older women?
If you are in that phase where your age is affecting your dating life, the one nagging question is why it’s so hard, especially because for men, it gets easier.
But if you think about it, it’s not like men have a smooth experience throughout. Compared to women, men have a harder time dating at a young age. Mostly because they were considered broke at that time, and every girl wanted to be treated like a queen.
And such treatment needs a heavy pocket. At a young age, men are trying to figure out life like everyone else, and when they finally have everything in order (especially financial stability), they are all grown.
So they enjoy dating at an old age because they can afford what women want, specifically, young women. So why not older ladies?
Because you are not as beautiful as you were in your youth
The bitter truth is that you have to deal with wrinkles and other physical effects of aging.
Regardless of your efforts, you are not as attractive as you used to be. And since beauty is the first thing that attracts a man, you will have a hard time attracting men.
You are considered “damaged goods”
Immediately, you mention your age; every man wants to know why you haven’t partnered up.
You may have valid reasons. Maybe you were focusing on chasing the bag, growing your career, or advancing your education.
Unfortunately, when a woman is old and single, she is considered “damaged goods.” Like, why did men in your youth walk out on you? And though you might not be the problem, it is assumed that something is wrong with you.
Another thing, as you age, your biological clock is ticking. As a result, no man who desires kids will go for an older woman because you can’t give him what he wants.
Because they have a higher standard
It’s not all about others judging us. Most women raise their standards as they age because they assume they have much to offer: financial stability, emotional support, and many other things.
This is true, by the way. A woman who has her shit together will not nag a man to support her financially. In fact, they can invest and grow together. She is not a moron like a wild young girl.
But because she knows her worth, she raises the bar too high. And when there is no man to tick all her boxes, she runs out of time.
You get mature and start analyzing every potential match
With age comes maturity, and you start seeing things from a different perspective. This means you can’t resonate with someone who is not thinking like you.
Another thing, you overanalyze every potential match and expect them to match your maturity level. This makes it hard to find someone perfect for you.
How to Enjoy Dating at an Older Age
Even an older woman deserves love. But how do you enjoy love when every man is busy judging you?
Since you can’t change how people think, work on yourself first so you are confident enough to venture into dating. But before I get into the details, let me answer your question.
Can I enjoy dating as an older woman?
Of course, if you find someone you are compatible with, why not?
I have seen beautiful old couples having quality time on the beach or visiting a social place. And they seem happy in each other’s company.
Anyone can enjoy love when they find the right person. But the issue comes when you are an older woman looking for someone to have fun with. Regardless of the stereotypes in society, an older woman can still enjoy dating. Here’s how:
Tips to have a successful dating experience as an older woman
Work on yourself
The very first thing is to work on yourself. And I don’t mean you do it, so you remain attractive to others. I mean, you do it for yourself.
You might be embracing your age, but we can’t assume the stereotype doesn’t get to you, especially if you’ve always wanted to settle down.
The pressure gets to you eventually, and if you are not careful, it might affect your mental health. That’s why you need to work on your mental health so you are stable enough to approach things with an open mind.
Apart from your mental health, keep your physical state in check. Hit the gym, hydrate, and eat healthy to remain in shape. When you are toned and physically fit, you are confident enough to try dating, which means a higher chance of attracting a potential match.
Do not forget that you are also attractive.
Keep an open mind
Be open to dating. Don’t be too quick to judge. Invite every possibility in the dating world.
It’s easier to enjoy dating when you are open to trying new things and don’t have so many rules to follow. Try online dating and give every potential match a chance.
I don’t mean you settle for less. Instead, relax and allow yourself to enjoy.
Lower your expectations and standards
Do away with your ideal male fantasy. This is reality, and no man will tick every box you have unless you are very lucky.
When you ask so much of a man, he will feel pressured and finally walk away. And if we are being honest, you can’t afford to chase every man that comes your way.
Women also need to lower their standards. It’s not like there is no man to date, but maybe you don’t want the ones who have shown interest in you. When you keep waiting for Mr. Right, you will not only miss out on dating but also end up sing
Accept your fate
Accept that you are now older, and your clock is ticking. Anyone who remains in denial is just wasting more time and making things worse.
Accept that you’ve grown. Be proud of it. In fact, you’ve achieved more than in your youth, and this is something to be proud of.
Immediately you accept things, you’ve moved a step closer because you’ve started to see things from a clear perspective. You no longer want to argue that older women are unattractive, but instead, want to focus on finding your perfect match to enjoy love.
Don’t lock yourself out of the world
The worst thing you can do is sit at home and cry yourself to sleep because your friends are holding baby showers and getting married. I know some women do this; they avoid going to social places and lock themselves out of the world.
This doesn’t solve anything. Actually, how do you expect to find a partner when you are not going to social places where you can interact with people?
Pick yourself up and go out to have fun. Also, socialize with people when you are out. Don’t be a gloomy old lady who frowns at everyone because they think they missed out on dating.
Start thinking about what you can offer
I know you have so much to offer, but when you think like that, you are being arrogant.
With all your education and money in the bank, can you offer a man the simple things in life? Can you be a little submissive to him?
No man wants a woman who feels on top of the world. Maybe that’s what every man sees when you go out with them, and they end up ghosting you. Think of what you can offer and work on the attitude or whatever is blocking you from love.
The Most Compatible Age for Older Ladies
For older ladies, no specific age can be labeled as perfect. Compatibility has less to do with age as it’s more of a personality.
A man may be your age or older, but you don’t connect. Another may be younger, but there is an instant connection.
Unless we are talking about compatibility in terms of reasoning, then we can say a man closer to your age, or a little older might be a perfect match.
You might have different views, but at least you will find a balance. Again, you are all mature, so you can handle criticism and try to see things from a different perspective.
I think it’s safe to ignore the age difference and focus on how you connect with someone at a personal level. But then again, it would be unrealistic for a sixty-year-old to date a seventeen-year-old. Especially when the sixty-year-old is a woman, I know it is not so absurd if it were the other way round.
Therefore, you can set a limit. For example, assuming you are a forty-five-year-old lady, then maybe don’t go for a below thirty years old man.
Alternatively, allow a ten-year age difference. This way, you look for someone who is not so young.
The rule of thumb is never to date someone less than half your age plus seven. So basically, you shouldn’t date someone under thirty-two years old if you are fifty. However, following this rule doesn’t mean you are safe from criticism.
The Best 3 Dating Sites for Older Women
Looking for online dating sites? These three dating sites are perfect for senior women:
1. Ourtime.com
Ourtime is a dating site that understands how dating changes when you hit your 50s. It’s ideal for any senior woman looking to find love.
2. Seniormatch
Seniormatch is another great site for senior citizens. Its amazing features make it easy to navigate and match with mature people.
3. Adultfriendfinder
As the name suggests, Adultfriendfinder is for serious singles who don’t have time for games. You can use it to find your perfect match.
Bottom Line
Age is just a number until the woman is older than the man. Older women find it hard to enjoy dating because they are considered less attractive, infertile, or even stubborn.
It’s the sad reality, and you will never enjoy dating unless you find a way to live with it. The secret is to embrace your age, work on yourself, and allow yourself to find love.
Focusing on the negatives won’t help, so you’d better find a way to enjoy dating yourself.
