Is Dating A Woman 20 Years Older Okay?

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dating woman 20 years older

Dating. We all go through it at a certain point in our lives. I would like to assume that the fact that you are reading this article means you’ve been in a dating relationship, been in one, or would like to be in one.

The dating world can be full of various peculiarities; okay matches, great matches, mismatches, and surprisingly quite uncommon matches. 

I’d like to delve into that in this article. 

I’d like to delve into the quite uncommon scenario where you may find yourself dating a woman 20 years older.

Why would a man date a woman 20 years older?

Why? It all depends. We all have different personalities, different tastes, and so on. While it is quite common for men to date younger women, it’s not very rare to find one dating someone older than themselves.

The age difference can be an obstacle for some but a non-issue for others. It all comes down to compatibility and what someone likes and dislikes.

Is a 20-Year Difference a Big Age Gap in a Relationship?

Yes, it is. There is a big generational difference, even a difference in the maturity levels between both of you in the relationship. So quite simply, yes, it is.

Can This Age Gap Work in a Relationship?

Yes, it can. One very popular example of such a large age difference is the French president, Emmanuel Macron. Now that’s a 25-year age gap. 

Yet everything seems to be fine in their relationship.

This age gap can work in a relationship provided that your relationship is built on a solid foundation.

How to Bridge the Age Gap in Your Relationship

This age gap can be an obstacle in your relationship. Such an age gap can mean that you both may have different maturity levels, maybe in different stages of your lives, and may even experience societal ridicule.

Ironically, the only way to bridge this age gap in your relationship is to overlook it. 

Focus on the positive traits in your partner rather than the obvious age gap difference. 

Inculcate virtues like loyalty, love, and caring, and make sure that your relationship is built on genuine friendship, and this age gap will be a non-issue.

One thing, never bring this obvious age gap difference in your disagreements or use it to belittle your partner. This is guaranteed to make things worse.

If She Is 20 Years Older Than You

As a man, dating someone who is 20 years older than you means that you may face societal pressure, curious comments, and perhaps even nasty comments throughout your relationship.

This is often quite the case since this kind of relationship seems to buck societal conformities on dating and relationships. This can be quite annoying, not to say even discouraging.

So how do you power through this? Focus on the reasons why you’re dating your partner. 

The fact that you are engaged with your partner despite this obvious age difference means that there is a lot to be admired in your partner. 

Now that should be the glue that keeps your relationship together.

Couple forming their arms like a house
Couple forming their arms like a house.

If He Is 20 Years Younger Than You

It is quite common for women to prefer older men. However, as dating and love relationships go, you may find yourself dating someone with such an age gap. As a woman, what do you need to know?

For one, this age gap can be a sensitive issue on his side. However, this age gap should not be the central focus of your relationship, but rather a minor consideration.

Second, you might have to face nasty comments from friends and naysayers about the nature of your relationship. 

Keep this in mind, you two are the main stakeholders in your relationship, and opinions from anyone else shouldn’t matter.  

Things To Consider Before Dating A Woman With A 20-Year Age Gap

Her Stage of Life

Pursuing a woman with a 20-year age gap should mean that you two may find yourselves at various stages in life. 

I’d like to assume that the mere fact that you are pursuing this kind of relationship implies that you are mature enough to overlook societal conformities and go for what suits you best in your dating relationships.

My central piece of advice here is to make sure that the kind of relationship that you are pursuing matches her stage in life. Are you looking to get hitched? Then make sure that she is looking for the same. 

Is it all just to keep each other company and have fun? Then make sure that she is also looking for the same.

What Is She Looking For (Long Term or Short Term)

Younger man approached a woman dancing in a party
Younger man approached a woman dancing in a party.

I have always had a central guiding focus point while navigating the dating scene. If you don’t want to have your heart broken and be seriously disappointed, then make sure that you draw out your cards early on in your relationship and state what you are looking for in the relationship.

Be curious to know the nature of the relationship that she is looking for. Don’t draw out long-term plans in your head for someone that’s only looking to have fun. 

Trust me, that breakup is going to hurt.

If you just want to pursue a casual relationship, then don’t hide it for selfish reasons. Believe me, karma is a thing. Lay it out as you date and politely part ways and wish each other the best.

Do You Want Kids?

It should be no science fiction to know that the childbearing abilities of the female body have certain age restrictions. Make sure that you consider this factor before pursuing the relationship.

If you would like to have kids one day, is she within her fertility years? If you’re not the type of person that would like to have kids, then this should not be an issue at all.

Final Verdict

I think we should all acknowledge that dating a woman who is 20 years older than you bucks societal norms and goes against conventional dating norms. 

However, if you pursue this kind of relationship, I’d like to assume that you’d have pretty thick skin to brush off naysayers and focus solely on your opinion as you pursue the relationship.

Dating someone should not be guided by other people’s opinions. They aren’t present in your relationship. You are. 

Always make sure that you pursue someone that makes you feel good and treats you right, despite the naysayers.

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Over the years, Stephanie has had her fair share of dating experiences. While some turned out great, others weren't so great. She believes that relationships are meant to be fun, exciting, and full of laughter. She wants to help men and women become confident, attractive, and successful in their romantic relationships.