I had an interesting conversation with a friend a few days ago. Let me bring you up to speed.
She went out on a date with Guy No.1 in February. According to her, everything was perfect, and they went on several other dates that month.
Sadly, the guy ghosted her the whole of March for reasons she didn’t know. So she assumed maybe he didn’t like her anymore.
She met Guy No. 2 in school, and they started going out and spending time together. This was in April, and since Guy No. 1 had gone MIA, why not?
Fortunately (or not), Guy 1 started texting and calling her at the beginning of May. I don’t know how he convinced her, but they picked up from where they left off.
She has been going out with the two guys and admits she likes both of them. Tricky, right?
Well, it’s not. You can date two people at once, provided you agree to it. And that’s what I told her. In her case, she hasn’t told these guys about her situation, so her task is to let them know and see if they are okay with it.
If you are in a similar situation or just curious, let me answer some of your questions.
Is it OK to Date Two People at Once?
Whether it’s okay or not depends on your honesty. In my friend’s case, it’s not okay. Why? Because she is not being honest with these guys.
But sometimes, you find yourself in a weird position. For example, can we really say she is dating any of the guys? It’s been a few months, and none of them has defined what they have.
Well, whether it’s defined or not, honesty remains the best policy. Tell these people what’s going on so no one feels manipulated.
Dating multiple partners at once is called polyamory. Some people are totally okay with it mainly because they also date other people. However, it’s only polyamory when you agree to it.
When you do it in secret, then you are being unfaithful. And it’s not even fair to the other person, especially if they are committed to you.
How Do You Date Two People at Once?
If you are used to monogamy, this is the first question that comes to mind when you hear about polyamory. Well, polyamorous people make it work. This is how:
Open communication
If you want to date two people simultaneously, then your communication should be on point. And not just by telling them you are polyamorous; you should communicate everything efficiently.
For example, tell them how you feel about them without hiding anything. Communicate your plans and lay everything on the table.
Being respectful
Like in any other relationship, respect comes first in your relationship. When you respect the people you are dating and they respect you in return, you won’t have unnecessary issues in your relationships.
Respect is not defined by words alone. How you treat each other should also be respectful.
Being understanding
You have to understand each other’s personalities. Who they are, what they like, and everything about them. When you take time to understand someone, you learn everything about them, making it easy to love them.
You love someone for who they are and love them in their love language. Besides, you learn to accommodate their imperfections, which helps in your dating experience.
Compromising
You need to compromise to accommodate the two of them. Sometimes, the most important things in your life come in twos.
However, it shouldn’t be draining. Immediately, you start feeling like dating them is too much work and the relationship is unhealthy. Therefore, as you compromise, remember to take care of yourself.
Finding a balance
I won’t lie to you; dating two people at once is not as easy as pie. You have to deal with each of them and be supportive.
Even worse, it’s not like the world is at a standstill because you are dating two people. You have work, family, and other things to think about. That’s why you need to find a perfect balance so you don’t neglect any of them.
Better still, you don’t focus too much on pleasing your partner and forget the other things in life, like family and friends.
Setting rules
If we are being honest, an open relationship can not survive without rules. It’s the rules that govern your relationship and restrict you from doing whatever you want.
That’s why you need to set rules for the relationship to work. These rules should apply to all parties involved. They can be as simple as “when are you spending time with whom?” and as crucial as practicing safe sex.
Setting emotional boundaries
Healthy emotional boundaries not only help your relationship thrive, but also protect you from emotional manipulation. They act as limits to how far you can go for others.
In addition, emotional boundaries separate your feelings from those of others.
You need to keep your emotions in check now that you are dating two people at the same time. And the best way to achieve this is by setting healthy emotional boundaries.
Can You Be in Two Relationships at Once?
You can. If you have been dating two people at the same time and things are going well, you may decide to commit to a relationship with both of them.
However, both of them must agree to it. This means you can’t just decide to be in a relationship without informing them. A relationship must be consensual.
Therefore, if all of you enjoy what you have and decide to commit to a relationship, you can be in two relationships at once.
Though I must say, this is so unusual. Normally, when you are in an open relationship, you commit to one person and find attachment or enjoy sex with others. Not necessarily one person.
Dating two people at once means you are not committed to either of them. And I don’t think someone would commit to you if you are not committed to them. We are humans and are bound to feel jealous.
Bottom Line
Dating two people at once is not something new. People are doing it to enjoy the dating experience and experiment with love.
Others are doing it to find real love.
There is no manual for dating, so if you feel that’s what works for you, go ahead. However, be honest with yourself and others, but most of all, have fun!
