Why You Shouldn’t Be Having a Relationship With a Married Man

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Why You Shouldn't Be Having a Relationship With a Married Man

It’s easy to get into a relationship with a married man. He doesn’t have to lie about his marriage; just do the right things with you.

It can start as a normal friendship, then progress to a first date bonding over coffee, and before you know it, he is telling you about his marriage, focusing on the ugly side. 

That’s how easily you fall for a married man. Are you in a relationship with one?

There are things you should know about dating a married man. This article discusses these topics and provides advice on how to get over him.

Read on to learn these and more.

Things You Should Know About Having a Relationship With a Married Man 

So you met a cute guy, got attracted to him, but realized he was married. Whether you’re thinking of starting a relationship with him or have already started, here are things you should know about having a relationship with a married man. 

You will always be “the other woman”

This man already has a family, so you’re just a third wheel. You wouldn’t be a third wheel if he loved you so much.

Even worse, you’ll always feel you don’t belong in his life. He will always prioritize his family, which means you won’t have much of his time.

And even when he sneaks to see you, your “quality time” will constantly be interrupted by calls from his kids or wife. If you think he loves you more than his family, wait until he gets an emergency call from them; you’ll be surprised at how he storms out to be with them. 

It is illegal, and the man might lose property

Having a relationship with a married man is illegal. You might not face any legal punishment, but you’re helping him go against his legal marriage. And if his wife pursues this in court, the man stands to lose his marriage and property.

You might think this doesn’t affect you, but it does. It might not be legal, but unless you are okay with being the reason a marriage breaks, you’ll also suffer the consequences.

The guilt never goes away

Assuming the marriage ends because of you, you’ll always feel guilty. Anytime a topic of infidelity arises, you’ll always get uncomfortable. It might leave permanent scars, making you think you don’t deserve a happy marriage.

A woman sneaking in her boyfriends house who is married
A woman sneaking in her boyfriends house who is married

He is lying about his marriage

Married men often lie about their marriages. So if he’s told you that his wife is ill-treating him, withholding sex, or has another fatal flaw, that’s the usual lie men tell, so you think he is starving for love and is there to get it from you.

Ask yourself why he is still married to his wife if she is that bad. For all I know, he should have filed for divorce ages ago. 

Besides, how can you believe the words of someone who cheated on his wife? He is lying to his wife about his whereabouts when he is with you, so what makes you think he can’t lie to you?

You’re probably not the only “other woman”

A part of you already knows that you are probably not the only mistress in his life. If he is lying to you about his “dead wife” in the bedroom, then he is doing it to another woman. 

A man who cheats on the woman with whom he took vows and who is most likely the mother of his children can lie to any other woman. 

It never ends well 

Even if he leaves his wife for you, which I doubt, what will stop him from cheating on you? His cheating on his wife with you should be a sign he doesn’t respect the concept of marriage, regardless of the person he marries. 

Anyone who respects marriage can never cheat, even if the other person mistreats them. They walk away from the marriage and, in the right way, find another compatible match. 

He will never leave his wife for you

You sympathize with him because he said he isn’t happy in his marriage and will leave his wife. But if that were true, he would have left already. 

A relationship is supposed to move forward, but yours will be stuck in one place. You can’t move in with him or make progress like in normal relationships. 

So you only wait for him to leave his wife, but he won’t. Think about it: if he files for divorce while dating you, it might be revealed that he was cheating. And as you already know, he risks losing valuable property in such a scenario.

You don’t have control over the relationship

This man can easily replace you and end things with you. He can also come to his senses at any time and run to his wife. So generally, you don’t have control over the relationship. 

Besides, you can’t see or talk to him whenever you wish. He is sneaking to be with you, which means you must adhere to stolen time. 

You are a homewrecker

There’s no lighter way to say this. Dating a married man makes you a homewrecker. He can’t establish a solid relationship with his family with you in the picture.

When he lies about his whereabouts to be with you, you’re helping him cause pain to others. Assuming he has kids, you’re denying them their father’s presence. 

And if the marriage breaks, it’s equally on you. So instead of accommodating him because there is trouble in his marriage, tell him to work things out.

How to Get Over a Relationship with a Married Man

How to Get Over a Relationship with a Married Man
How to Get Over a Relationship with a Married Man

To get over a married man;

  • Recognize that you deserve better from a partner. A man who doesn’t lie just to be with you but is there because he loves you. Someone who values you enough to show you to the world. 
  • Distance yourself from him by cutting all ties. Start by talking to him about it, and if he still insists, block him and avoid places you can run into him. 
  • Give yourself time to heal and learn from the mistakes made. It’s okay if your feelings are hurt, so try to distract yourself by spending time with friends. Give yourself enough time to heal and learn from your mistakes. 
  • When you’re ready, look for a healthy relationship.


Is it okay to date a married man?

No, it’s never okay to date a married man. So many things are at stake, including your mental and emotional state. You also wouldn’t want your husband cheating on you with another woman.

Can a married man love both his wife and girlfriend?

You can love two people at the same time, but for different reasons. One may bring out your confident, sexy side, while the other might make you feel safe.

However, love should be genuine, and if you truly love someone, you can’t hurt them. A married man claiming to love his wife (on whom he is cheating) does not spell “true love.” 

Love is honest, so unless the wife knows the girlfriend and is okay with it (which I doubt), we can’t conclude this man loves two people genuinely. 

Can a relationship with a married man last?

Yes, but not in the way you would want. A relationship with a married man will only last as long as he wants it to, which means as long as he is getting what he wants from you. 

And if he is, such a relationship can last longer than you think. But get this right: It’s not lasting for healthy reasons or genuine attraction.

But often, such a relationship ends when the married man realizes he is not treating his wife right. So he feels guilty about it and wants to right his wrongs. But it can also end when you realize you deserve better. 

How do you know if a married man loves you?

Whether married or single, you’ll always know if a man likes you. He might flirt with you or compliment you more. 

However, you can only tell if a man loves you by how he treats you, which means until someone is part of your life, it’s hard to determine his love for you. 

So, even if you’ve been with this married man for some time and he seems to treat you right, the fact that you’re a mistress still questions his love for you.

And if we’re being honest, is it even love if you’re getting it at the expense of another person’s happiness?

A married man playing the piano for his mistress
A married man playing the piano for his mistress

Bottom Line

Having a relationship with a married man is not healthy for both of you. It can never amount to anything healthy and may harm your mental health or your life in general.

If you’re already in one, please end it before it gets worse. And if you’re having trouble doing it on your own, seek professional help from a therapist.

Photo of author


Over the years, Stephanie has had her fair share of dating experiences. While some turned out great, others weren't so great. She believes that relationships are meant to be fun, exciting, and full of laughter. She wants to help men and women become confident, attractive, and successful in their romantic relationships.