From conversation starters to parting words, everyone needs a little help when it comes to their first date. After all, you want to make a good impression and perhaps, win another date.
But before we get to second dates, how do you manage to be at your best while avoiding the awkwardness that comes with every first date?
How do you dazzle him enough to make him want more, and what are some of the best first date advice for ladies I can give?
If you use some of the tips I have listed in this article, you’re on your way to having a great date and hopefully many more!
First date advice tips for ladies
The dating business gets more intense every day, so if you don’t want to mess it up, I’ve compiled a list of tips that have served me well on my first dates.
Every woman on the planet at some stage struggles with getting ready on time. This isn’t one of those times you can allow that to happen.
This is your first date. Get started early and plan your time so you don’t show up late. If you arrive late, it makes a bad first impression on the guy. You come across as unorganized or just uninterested in meeting him.
Also, a note if you are going to be late, you should always call and tell them your situation. Never believe you can juggle everything. Time isn’t your best friend, but you can beat it.
Don’t try to be someone you’re not
We’ve all heard the old saying: be yourself, everyone else is taken.
Don’t try faking it. He will see straight through you within five minutes into the date, or worse, you’ll come across as shallow.
Don’t brag about something you’re hardly passionate about to impress him because if you do, what will you say if he brings it up later on? To avoid making excuses, talk about what you love doing because that’s the real you. That’s who you are and what you do.
Keep it classy
As much as you want to be yourself, it’s never too late to be well-mannered. First impressions count, remember!
Update your eating etiquette: don’t talk with food in your mouth, swirl the wine before taking a sip.
I don’t mean don’t eat the way you want to, but keeping those elbows off the table shows you are a lady of class. Make an impression without trying too hard.
Never make it all about you
When you keep using ‘I,’ you come across as being selfish and let’s be real: your life isn’t that interesting, so his gaze begins to wander around.
To keep things interesting, even if he never wants to talk about himself, just ask. Listen to him when he speaks because that earns you respect.
Don’t use alcohol
Alcohol is a tricky thing to navigate on a first date. It’s fun and casual, but it can also lead to awkward situations and bad decisions if you drink a bit too much.
So if you’re going to drink, try to limit yourself to two drinks. That way, you won’t feel pressured into doing anything crazy. And if you really want to enjoy yourself, just remember you’re on a first date. Don’t worry about being perfect; just relax and have fun.
Ditch the old rules of men having to pay
A lot of ladies believe he’s the one taking me out on a date so he should be ready to foot the bill. There’s nothing wrong if he insists, but you should at least genuinely leave him an offer to split the bill.
Quite naturally, he will tell you not to worry about it because he wants to be a man but you offering something means you aren’t a freeloader.
Find your confidence boosters
Work on your confidence. Dress well and feel comfortable in whatever you’re in. Don’t be too casual.
Smell amazing because a little bit of perfume makes you more attractive. You want him to remember you whenever he catches a whiff anywhere, so find your signature scent and make yourself unforgettable.
Another one is to smile. Smiling makes you more beautiful, confident, and poised. Walking confidently means you’re not only ready for the night, but you’re also placing yourself as a powerful woman.
Keep the conversation light, fun, and interesting
Things are getting more interesting, and the conversation is flowing great. Now isn’t the time to bring up your exes. While there’s nothing wrong with that topic, you have to know what kind of emotion talking about an ex stirs up in you.
If it’s a good one, then go ahead. If it isn’t, don’t feel inclined to talk about them. Remember that you want to end this date on a good note, and getting angry or sad isn’t the right way to do that.
As with everything, keep things light.
Make them earn your respect
This goes with what you wear, say, and body language. Keep the conversation more about getting to know each other rather than getting too sexual. Otherwise, you could go from date zone to a booty call.
Don’t dress sleazy or too revealing, be conservative with how much skin you show, it is a first date and first impression after all. And if this is something you want to do for yourself, then feel comfortable doing it.
Also, don’t come across as negative, better yet, just don’t be negative. It’s better to keep quiet when you have nothing nice to say. Don’t make offending jokes about the waiter or the couple seated behind you. You might think nothing of it, but you could come off as a bad date with an awful personality. This person doesn’t know you yet, treat it as such.
Compliments as conversation starters
Everyone wants to hear a little bit of praise. Before you get started on your date, notice something interesting about them and make a nice comment about it.
And when you do, please be real about it. Don’t lie to someone just because you feel the need to say something. While it would serve as an ego boost to them, you will only come off as insincere.
Tell him you’re nervous
It is perfectly alright to feel nervous on a first date. Everyone does but before everything, confess how you genuinely feel and make a joke about it.
Chances are, he also feels the same, so the best thing is to get the nerves out of the way by addressing it and getting started on the date.
Keep the phones off
There’s always something interesting going on with the media but don’t allow that to rob you of your time with your amazing date. The best thing to do is keep your phone in your purse and mute the notifications from beeping and disrupting your date.
If there’s an important call, tell him about it and leave to receive it. Don’t check your phone every minute because it shows that he isn’t enough to hold your attention. Plus it comes off as being rude.
Don’t expect too much
There was a time I went on a date and this guy did tick all the boxes I had for myself, so naturally, I planned how things were going to be for us.
Look, everyone does this, especially when we meet the right guy but remember, it’s the first date so it would be nice if you don’t have high expectations about getting into a relationship with him.
First dates, like everyone would say, is an interview and you never get every job you apply for, so treat this as such and at this point, don’t expect a second date.
Tell your friends where you are headed
It’s always good to tell anyone that cares where you’re going. It makes it easier if the date wasn’t up to par with what you thought it would be and they need to come get you.
Tell your friends or family what time you will be going and when you’ll be back. But go easy with when you think the date will end because your date might be too amazing you lose track of time.
With everything, your safety should come first.
Plan your exit route
One of the things I plan before leaving my apartment for a date is how I will end a date if things don’t go as planned. Even when it is going well, I sometimes still do this.
You could have things planned for the night already, or you might just want to have some “me” time.
If you do this with your date, it shows you’re considerate enough to make time for him in your busy schedule and it’s also a way to score a second date. Because let’s get real, using the tips mentioned above would definitely leave him wanting more.
What are first date rules?
Studies have shown that smiling positively affects your mood and reduces the intensity of a body’s stress response, regardless of whether you’re happy or sad.
So the big idea is smiling makes you attractive and lifts your emotions making your face appear younger and more beautiful.
Take your hygiene seriously
Your hygiene is one of the first things he’s going to notice, so go all out on this one and allow your scent to linger even when the night ends.
It’s okay to be awkward
First dates are awkward even if you two have been talking for a while. It’s your first time seeing each other so when there’s nothing to say, rather than stare, you could say, “Do you think we’re doing this right? It’s kind of awkward.”
That would make you two work towards making a great time out of the date, so embrace every awkwardness that comes with it because it is perfectly normal.
Eat what you want
As a lady myself, sometimes on a first date, I don’t want to show off my large appetite because it’s the first time but what I’ve learned is that it is alright to be yourself and show who you truly are.
Order what you want to eat, and don’t hold back to please him or anyone.
Search him up but don’t say it
Before going on a date with someone, you could get curious and go through his socials. While there’s nothing wrong with that, do not bring it up. Don’t creep him out.
Try touching but don’t come off too strong
If he says something funny, touch his arm depending on your seating position, or if the conversation goes on a route where he opens up to you, cover his hands with yours to assure him.
What you shouldn’t do is trail your fingers down his arm, don’t be suggestive even when you don’t mean anything, because the truth is, we all read body language differently, so don’t do something unnecessary.
Let him take care of you
Allow him to do things for you. If you’re at a new restaurant you’ve never been to before and he has, you could tell him to surprise you with the order.
Ask him for opinions about a meal he has tried before, allow him to pull out the chair for you to sit and for this night, give him a chance to take care of you.
Is it ok to kiss on a first date?
It depends on you and what you want. If you want a kiss and the date went well, then why not?
From my point of view, sometimes there’s too much sizzling chemistry in the air and if a kiss would keep him up on his toes and leave him thirsty for you, then by all means, do it.
How do I make my first date go well
- Connect with yourself. Know what you want and what you don’t. Connect with yourself to know when it’s over and how much energy you can give for a first date.
- If you want flats, rock it. If the heels are going to give you blisters, slide your feet into your flats or anything comfortable.
- Make sure the conversation is great. Make sure the conversation doesn’t leave anyone behind.
- Make sure where you’re headed is comfortable enough for you. Wherever you’re going, make sure it’s to your taste. Don’t try to please him by going to the movies when you don’t want to, be assertive!
How to be charming on a first date
Leave him hypnotized with these few tips:
Say something funny
You could bring up a joke or show him a meme. And if you can’t, don’t force yourself.
Thank him for everything
Showing appreciation means you’re thankful for how the night is going and that you aren’t taking anything for granted.
Ask how it’s going on their end
This is time to show who you really are. Throw in a few good questions to him: “Is this date going well?”
“Do you think this date is going as you imagined it?”
Everyone imagines a scenario before jumping to it, so this leaves room for what he does think about the date.
Listen and be thoughtful
Don’t talk over them. When he talks about something, listen to him even when you have your own opinions, be patient and allow him to finish talking before throwing yours out there.
Talk about your initial reaction when he asked you on a date
What first came to your mind when he asked you out on a date? Tell him about it. Give him a peek at what goes on your mind. You could start with, “When you asked me on this date, I was excited.” This shows you hold nothing back and remember that great conversations make an amazing date.
Be nice to those around
You could say thank you to the waiter for bringing your meal. Also, be polite when placing your orders. It’ll go a long way to showing what sort of person you are on your first date.
Remember, nobody likes a rude person.
What should you not do on a first date?
- Don’t talk too much. Having great conversations makes a fantastic date but know when to keep it minimal. Sometimes, it’s also better to enjoy the silence.
- Don’t pick your teeth in front of them. You could be forgetful. Don’t take it personally, it’s just a reminder.
- Your phone isn’t too important. If it is that important, keep it muted and don’t be disrespectful by being on your phone when your focus should be on your date.
- Don’t brag about yourself. If you just got a promotion at your work, keep the details to yourself, or too much about yourself may make you come off condescending.
What to avoid talking about on a first date?
Although it’s alright to talk about anything, there are some things you need to keep yourself from talking about.
- Your exes. Believe me, nobody wants to know how things went between you two, so do yourself a favor by not talking about them and instead focus on your date because it’s meant to be about the two of you and not your past with someone.
- Family issues. Issues with the family are always at the tip of our tongues but keep things discreet and don’t bring it up.
- Political opinions. We all have diverse opinions when it comes to politics and chances are you two have different views on this so it would be much safer to avoid arguments.
- Marriage. I’m all for the good old conversation about marriage and what comes with it, but keep it light. Don’t go too fast into asking them to talk about their future plans, especially if your date only sees now.
- Don’t share too many details. Do not share your deepest secrets or too much about your personal life. Why? Too much about yourself to someone who doesn’t know you well yet could make them form the wrong opinions about you.
The best thing is to keep it minimal and leave something intriguing to chat about on your second date.
First dates can be enjoyable and exciting, but the worst thing can be going in without being prepared.
And with the tips above, which have proven true for me, I hope that you score a second date and perhaps find the one for you.