We all dread the feeling of rejection.
Chances are, you went MIA on your crush because of that. Maybe you two fell out from sending dry texts or you were too busy and a day turned into weeks, but now you feel guilty enough to reach out to them again.
This is why we’re about to talk things out before you press the send button. Look, I understand that you miss your crush and it’s been a while, but the truth is, they can’t be that person you once knew.
In this post, we’re going to talk about how to text your crush after a long time, ideas to inspire what to text, and lastly, how to deal with the aftermath.
First, let’s dive into how to text your crush after a long time.
Should I message my crush after a long time?
You definitely should text your crush if you miss them and what you had with them in the past, or rather if the circumstances that made you two stop talking were unavoidable.
As long as you have a reason, you’re great to get started, and with or without that, there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to ask how they’ve been.
But before you go ahead and send them that text, there are a few steps you have to follow through with.
How to text your crush after a long time
Remember to take these tips at your own pace and don’t be forced to have answers to all the why’s.
Ask yourself why you stopped talking to this person
If this is someone you’ve been talking to but the connection between you two sizzled out, you need to think if it’s worth going through the trouble again.
Did they at least match your texting energy in the past? Were they always invested in the fact that they got to talk to you?
On the other hand, if you ghosted this person or were terrified of being rejected, then why do you want to go through that again? To have them reject you? To apologize for leaving?
The deal is to be sincere with yourself and ask yourself these questions because that person is going to ask you why. There’s no avoiding that conversation, so get it through you first, and decide if that’s what you really want to do.
Believe it or not, sometimes it’s perfectly okay to leave things the way they are, but if you made your decision, then let’s go ahead!
Acknowledge the reasons why you want to reach out to them again
Are you bored, or do you genuinely want to reconnect with this person again? Do you want to see how life has been for them?
Do you want a relationship with this person now? Do you feel you’re in that place in your life to pursue something meaningful with them? The big deal is to find the reasons, so you don’t end up wasting your time.
You might not have access to their number, and even if you do, trust me, avoiding the awkwardness that comes with that phone call is absolutely necessary.
So what can you do? Start by liking their stories or posts on Instagram. Leave comments for them to reply to.
And… reach out with a text. When you do, don’t just text a simple “hey,” but come up with something that’ll make them interested in talking to you. You can talk about a movie you know they like and ask them how their life has been.
“The last time we talked, you were trying to get that job, how’s that going now?”
“I’ve been thinking about you. How are you doing?”
Show them that you still care
Through texting, you’ve got to make sure you’re doing your best by asking them how their day was and trying to learn more about their life. This means that, even though you’ve been away for a while, you had them on your mind.
And now that you’re back, you want to stay fully committed by being involved in their lives. I understand it’s going to be difficult at the onset of talking to this person, but showing that you still care will ease the doubts off their minds.
And if you really have been thinking about them, talk about something that reminds/reminded you of them. People are always curious, and there, you might eventually have that click again.
Don’t come off too strong
If it’s been a while, you will have the urge to text them every hour of the day, but don’t do that.
To protect yourself against someone who’s taking you for granted, don’t talk to them every day. I know this is someone you know, but people change, and just because you feel you know them doesn’t mean you do.
Spamming their inbox would make you come off as an annoying person, so desist from doing so and take things easy.
Apologize for going off on them for a while, and tell them why you did
Trust me, your crush is going to ask you, “What happened to us back then?”
You can’t buy your way out of this, and whatever happened, if you ghosted them, whatever you did that requires an apology? Do it.
Tell them what happened to you. If you felt they took you for granted or weren’t putting effort into the texts, please don’t hesitate to say it to them. Keep no secrets, don’t try to dump it all in the past.
Bring the past into the present to get things settled and open up about how it all went down.
Invite them out on a friendly date to learn more about them
At some point, you have to leave the screen and have a good old-fashioned face-to-face conversation because nothing can be compared with that.
During your time out with them, observe their body signals, and ask for more about them. Look, people can tell lies through text, but you should be able to see through them when you two sit down to talk.
And if it goes well, you could probably get a real date next time that’s not disguised as being friendly. It all depends on where the two of you are, but the main purpose is to learn more about them.
And how do you do that?
You simply ask. Be the talker because you should be willing to do what it takes to have them back in your life.
Keep the momentum going
I think a lot of us will agree on the fact that we want consistency.
Don’t slack off, because your crush wouldn’t appreciate that. Keep doing what you do, and if you get close to them again, do what you have to do now without holding back.
Do you want to send them every meme you come across? Then do it!
Don’t be in despair if it doesn’t work out
Set low expectations for how this is going to work out to avoid getting heartbroken.
As I said, things might have changed and they could say it to your face or hide it in pretense, but if it doesn’t work out, take time to heal and believe it just wasn’t meant to be.
Don’t make the same mistake twice
And if it does work out for you, don’t ghost them or repeat the same mistake.
You might have gotten a second chance to work things out. Don’t blow it off, expecting a third, because you might not have that again.
How can I impress my crush over text?
Faced with the problem of impressing your crush over text? Then I got you.
- Put in an effort every time you talk to them. Try to bring up something you know they’ll appreciate whenever you talk. Find topics you know they dig and ask for their opinions because it’ll get them talking and it also proves that you’re trying your best to make things work out.
If they’re in a bad mood, say something funny, be thoughtful with your words, and if texts don’t work out, never forget to make use of Facetime to help them feel better.
Keep trying your best in everything.
- Follow up with what you both talked about. For instance, if your crush was feeling bad the night before, ask them about it the next day. It shows you’re concerned and that you care about them.
If you two are talking and they’ve said something about the issue before, you could reference their words to make them know you were listening. Trust me, this will make them smile.
- Be invested in your own life. Let’s say, your crush reaches out to ask, why you haven’t been talking to them, tell them you’ve been busy with something important to you.
That means you have a life that goes beyond your crush’s, and it makes you more attractive. So find something to do rather than wait for them to reply to your texts.
- Be confident. I know everyone gets nervous at the thought of talking to someone who gives you butterflies but doesn’t show them you’re a wreck.
Prove to that person that you’ve got it figured out even when you don’t. Exude confidence through texts, and one way to do that is to tell them about your latest achievements without seeming shallow, and it’ll keep them impressed.
- Flirt. Say something flirty to your crush; that’ll get them worked up to thinking about you. Don’t overdo it when it comes to this, so you don’t leave the wrong impression.
Is it OK to text every day?
It’s perfectly okay to text every day. There’s no gap between your conversations, and there’s always something new to talk about.
As much as that’s a point, don’t make it your thing to text every day. Show that you have something to do rather than text, but trust me, there’s nothing wrong with texting every day. Just keep it minimal.
How do I keep my crush interested?
Want to keep your crush interested so you two don’t end up falling out?
Then I’ve got a few tips to help with that.
- Be friends. If you have a crush on someone, then a great place to start is to be friends with them.
Keep your feelings to yourself and get to know them on a deeper level.
In most cases, you might end up finding things that’ll keep you from dating them, or you might decide you want to be with them but start with being friends.
- Show him you’re interested. I’m not saying to send texts that you are going to regret later, but ask them about their passions. If you can’t, find out from their friends and bring up the topic in the conversation.
- Don’t come off as being desperate. Don’t bat your eyelashes at them or act too flirty. Never feel like you have to get this person to be in a relationship with you.
It doesn’t work that way because if you acted interested in them, you already gave them the hint.
- Use compliments. If he has achieved something or looks nice, say something nice with your words. Saying, “You looked really great today,” with a wink, will go a long way.
- Don’t play mind games. This is not fair to anyone. Don’t act interested now; spice things up in your own way later. They would never take you seriously.
If they sent you a text, then I would tell you to reply, because waiting for a few hours so you don’t seem too interested might make you lose them.
- Go outdoors. Meet them in person. If you’ve been texting or you see each other once in a while, you have to make the move and ask them out just to know the real you.
Remember, when you’re outdoors, be yourself. Don’t act like anybody else. Be you and be proud of that.
- Take your chances. If you have access to their social media or they’re going through something, take that chance to get close to them. It could be a great way to start to show your crush you’ve always been rooting for them.
- Give hints. If you like someone, say it in a way that feels comfortable to you. Ask them if they have a girlfriend or perhaps if they’re seeing someone.
Be clear on what you want with people.
And if you’re that bold, then go on ahead and confess your feelings to them. It’ll get him to see you a little differently.
How long should you wait to text?
If you texted someone and they haven’t had a chance to get back to you, then wait for another four hours before texting them again.
And if they decide not to reply, show them you’re better than that. I know it sounds easy when it’s not, but move on.
Don’t keep waiting for a text you might never get.
Should I message again if I get no reply?
Yes, you should message again if you got no reply the first time. They might be busy and might at least get back to you.
How to respond when someone texts you after a long time
How about if you’re in a situation where someone texts you after a long time? Here’s what you need to do:
- Be clear where they stand now in your life. Check with yourself if this person is still important to you. If they are, then that means you still care and want to listen to what they have to say. If they aren’t, it means you’ve gotten rid of them in your life.
- Don’t be aggressive. I know your emotions could be in control, but you have to stay calm. Don’t act aggressively because it means you were waiting for them to come back so you could lash out at them.
Rather than do that, be polite with them and it’ll get them wondering where to start with. Don’t make them feel that leaving was okay.
Keep them on their toes. How do you do that? By acting like they don’t affect you.
- Listen. This person came back for a reason, so give them the benefit of the doubt and listen to what they have to say. Don’t jump to conclusions. Listen to their reasons for leaving, and in this case, be a better person.
- Decide whether you still want them to stay. You alone can make the choices you intend to live with. Make your decision and stand by it.
If you want them to still be in your life after their explanations, then start by easing out of the being polite zone to a more friendly place to get started.
And if you want nothing more with them, end things and don’t look back on your decision.
Life happens all the time, and if you and your crush fell out of something beautiful, then there’s nothing wrong with that.
Start by being sincere with yourself and remember that they also deserve the truth from you. So even when it does or doesn’t work out, you still get to keep something with them.