7 Reasons Why Dating Apps Don’t Work (The Real Truth!)

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why dating apps don't work

Am I here to discourage you from using dating apps? Kind of but… not really. 

Well, you might ask, “Why don’t they work if they are so popular?” Yes, their popularity doesn’t necessarily mean that they have the desired result for their users.

Remember, these apps are owned by companies whose main aim is to make money. In most cases, you are nothing more than a customer. 

If your desired purpose of using the app is quickly satisfied, you will not be around to use the app longer! Got that? (surprised Pikachu face).

7 Reasons Why Dating Apps Don’t Work

1. Algorithm-Based Matches Don’t Imply Compatibility

Finding a match in a dating app
Finding a match in a dating app.

An algorithm is just that, an algorithm. It is specifically designed by its programmer or programmers to give out a certain output after considering a certain number of inputs or factors. 

Don’t get me wrong, they are well-intentioned. However, the algorithm doesn’t always get everything right regarding the aspects of a potential date partner that you might want when it generates that match for you.

Matches generated by the algorithm are based on the information that you have placed on your profile that is matched with others in the database. 

You will likely have to go through many matches and evaluate them personally before you get that match that you feel will be okay for you.

2. There Is Too Much Competition!

A lot of it! I have been there. This reminds me of a surprising conversation that I had with a female friend who indicated just how many matches she would get with just one session of using the app.

I want to state that there is some unfairness here. Sorry, I am complaining, but the deck is so stacked against us as men when we get on these sites. 

So, what am I saying?

The point here is that it is so easy to set up an online dating profile. And with that ease, many applicants. 

That means that there are so many dating options to choose from. So if you haven’t got your profile right, then be ready for unending left swipes on your profile buddy.

3. You Only Get Partial Impressions

A man looking through a dating app on a tablet
A man looking through a dating app on a tablet.

I’d like to make the point that dating apps only give us partial impressions of people that you’d like to date. 

You do not quite get a full picture of your potential match. You saw a cute smiling picture online, and you thought it would be a good match.

You went on a date. It turned out it wasn’t such a good choice after all. You go back and resume swiping. 

Do you get what I mean? 

You can never get to know a person fully by just making instant judgments based on someone’s profile.

This is really hard for dating app developers to correct because if you want to get to know someone better, you need to spend lengthy amounts of time with them and get to know their real character. This is where sometimes I prefer dating based on your close social circle rather than online dating.

However, this doesn’t mean that dating apps aren’t worth it. It just takes you longer, many tries to achieve the same result.

4. People Are Too Picky

We’re all told not to be too picky when it comes to relationships, or else we’ll end up all alone by ourselves at the end of the day. But this only applies when you only have a few to choose from.

Dating apps, on the other hand, give you such a wide variety to choose from that you are naturally inclined to be picky. 

After all, to get a new dating partner, you just need to swipe right. If you didn’t like their profile, swipe right again and on and on.

This naturally implies that the deck is stacked against those who are not physically attractive. This doesn’t mean that they would not be good potential relationship partners. It just means that, by their design, these apps are designed for instant judgments for their users.

5. It Can Get Really Creepy Online

apply maximum caution when using these apps.

Yes, it does sometimes. The internet is full of stories of people who were lured by criminals using these apps. 

The internet is a weird place that you need to navigate carefully.

These apps are well-intentioned. However, just as with everything else, put them in the wrong pair of hands and they are subject to misuse. 

Here is a piece of advice: apply maximum caution when using these apps.

Be on high alert for potential malicious online behavior. Don’t give out your secret financial details online to strangers who promise to love you to the moon and back. 

Don’t go on dates in weird places. 

Be on the radar for suspicious activity with potential dating partners and exercise maximum caution.

6. Everything Is So Superficial

What makes you swipe right on a profile? What makes you swipe left? These are instant judgments that are just based on taking a glance at someone’s profile picture. 

I am sorry; you may not like it, but that is being too superficial.

You haven’t taken the time to get to know the person you swiped left on just because you thought, ehm, they were not attractive enough. 

Who knows? They could have turned out to be the best dating partners that you have ever had.

These apps, just by their design, are designed to make their users make instant decisions that are based on superficial judgments. 

That’s just wrong. That’s my opinion though. You may have a different one. 

Worse, it could even turn out that that profile picture that you liked could have been enhanced. What a rude shock that would be to you when you meet your month-long online chatting partner in person!

7. Are You Sure This Will Work In The Real World?

Young girl waiting for her date
Young girl waiting for her date.

You’ve been chatting with this guy for hours on end. You think he is very interesting and charming, and you may even have fallen for him.

Have you thought about whether that would be the case if you were to meet your online dating partner in the real world? 

Would they be as charming and interesting as they were in your online chatbox?

For any relationship to materialize from your online dating experience, things must progress to the real world. We can all create whatever kind of persona that we want online. 

After all, we are just sitting behind a keyboard.

The real test of whether your online dating experience will materialize into anything meaningful is when you cut off that internet connection and meet your match in the real world.

Online Dating Mistakes

You have to admit that you have made mistakes in life. You would have to be the best liar in the world to prove otherwise or be a really good saint. 

This also applies to our dating experiences as well.

So what are the mistakes that you are prone to making as you go on with your online dating? Note them and make sure you don’t repeat them next time.

Put a half-baked profile on and you will always keep wondering why you never get any matches. 

Falling fast for someone you’ve never met in person? Here is my general rule when it comes to any relationship. You have to meet someone and spend time with them before you open your heart to anyone!

Revealing your financial details online and trusting strangers so easily online. Don’t, unless you want to get yourself in for a rude experience.

Why Online Relationships Don’t Work

woman forms a heart with her hands.
Woman forms a heart with her hands.

Why don’t they work? The reason is in the question itself: they are online.

As I have stated above, for any relationship to materialize out of your online dating experience, things must progress to the real world.

Quit chatting and ask them for a date. What keeps relationships working is spending time with your dating partner, getting to know them in person, and, if all goes well, having sexual intimacy with them.

It’s going to get boring just conversing with someone via a chat box only. You’ll chat and chat, and then gradually get bored and switch off.  

So in A Nutshell…

Dating apps are well-intentioned. I can say, without a doubt, that technology has revolutionized the way people approach dating. 

However, this doesn’t mean that whatever technological breakthroughs we have will always work.

I believe that dating apps don’t work, not in the literal sense of the word, but in the sense that they don’t always get the desired results for their users. 

I have given a couple of reasons why dating apps don’t work. Feel free to challenge them if you like.

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Over the years, Stephanie has had her fair share of dating experiences. While some turned out great, others weren't so great. She believes that relationships are meant to be fun, exciting, and full of laughter. She wants to help men and women become confident, attractive, and successful in their romantic relationships.