You’ve gone on your tenth date this month, and it was another huge blunder.
After arriving late, with no excuse, he ordered for you, choosing steak even as you proclaim you’re vegetarian. He then proceeded to monopolize the entire conversation for the entire evening.
Thinking he was a hit, he tried to go in for a goodnight kiss.
Another terrible date, and you’re turned off, frustrated, and hopeless.
How do you keep finding these people? Will you ever meet someone you click with? Is a relationship just not on the cards for you?
Stop right there. After dating slumps, it’s easy to get pessimistic about the dating scene. But that doesn’t mean it’s time to give up on your love life just yet. It may just be time to try something new.
Famous dating experts are famous for a reason. Their tips work, sometimes.
So, is it time to call in a dating expert?
What is a dating expert?
Before you decide, it’s probably good to know what a dating expert does exactly—and what they don’t do.
Generally speaking, a dating expert is a dating coach. They help clients attain what they want from their dating lives. They’ll help you to identify your strengths and weaknesses and use them to guide you in finding a partner who is right for you.
It’s important to know that a dating expert isn’t a therapist or a counselor. What’s the difference?
Coaches focus on the present and the future, whereas therapists and counselors dive deeper into their clients’ pasts to get to the root of the issues.
Don’t plan on spilling all your dating trauma to a dating expert. While it’s useful for them to know some of your dating histories, they’re going to focus on finding solutions for the present and looking to the future.
Is it time to find a dating expert?
Now that we know what a dating coach does, is it time for you to find one? When exactly is it time to enlist the help of an expert?
Generally, if you feel like you’re not having the relationships that you want, it might be a good idea to call in an expert to help you fix whatever roadblocks are threatening your success.
You’re feeling stuck
You feel like you’re in a total dating rut and there’s no getting out of it. You have no idea how to attract the right person. Maybe you don’t even know who the right person is anymore.
You think you’ve tried it all and nothing is working. It might be time to get some help from an expert.
We all know that hopeless, stuck feeling where change and action seem so far away. Whether it’s in our professional or personal lives, it’s a hard feeling to work out on your own.
If you’re feeling that sense of being “stuck” in your dating life, then it might be a good idea to mix things up.
What’s the harm in trying something new after all? An outside perspective from an expert may be just what you need.
You’re repeating the same patterns
Do you notice that you’ve somehow managed to find the same guy about a hundred different times? No matter how you meet on dating apps, in person, or through mutual friends—you just can’t get away from a type that really isn’t working for you.
Well, old habits die hard. The saying exists for a reason. It’s hard to change who you’re attracted to or who you’re attracting without being conscious of it.
If you know your “type” isn’t giving you what you want from your dating life, then it’s probably time to find a new type of person. Well, that’s much easier said than done.
Patterns are hard to break. However, an expert can help by giving you the tools to do so. If you find yourself in the same scenario often with different people, then it could be time to get some outside help to make some hard changes.
You want results
Maybe you’ve got all the self-help dating books. Your bookshelf screams, “Help me find love.” But for whatever reason, you’re just not seeing the change or results you want in your dating life.
That’s precisely what a dating expert is for.
They will help you to put into action all of your studies. They’ll add some new tricks and methods of their own. If it doesn’t work for whatever reason, they’ll tweak the plan with you.
You’ll have a support system to help you get the relationship you want. And when you feel like you’re failing in the dating arena, sometimes just having the support of an expert is the difference between turning things around or slumping deeper into the dating rut.
How to choose a dating expert?
If you were frantically nodding your head in agreement with the previous list, then you’re probably ready to find a dating expert to help you have the relationships you want.
With so many dating coaches claiming to be love experts, it may feel overwhelming to choose one.
Don’t let it scare you away from the process. Use this list to narrow your options and find a dating expert that’s right for you.
Coaching, counseling, or therapy
This is the first and most important step. You’ll never find what you want if you don’t know what exactly that is.
Dating experts are usually just dating coaches. Occasionally, some dating experts may also have experience in psychology and therapy.
However, it’s a completely different practice.
What do you want or need? Are you looking for some quick results, specifically in your dating life? Or do you feel like other bigger issues need to be resolved in other areas of your life as well?
Counseling and therapy will dive into the past and get to the root of a variety of causes of different behaviors.
Coaching focuses on the present and future. Coaches give clients action items to complete to see results.
What sounds right to you? It won’t help to get a dating coach when what you really want is a therapist. Start thinking about what you need right now and start making moves to find it.
Male or Female
Maybe you’re indifferent, but people often feel more comfortable with having either a male or female expert helping them out in the dating area.
It’s not to say that one is better than the other, but you might feel more at ease working with one over the other.
Especially in the dating world, each will give you a different perspective and have a different method. While success is sure to be possible with either, you probably have a preference.
Decide if you want a male or female dating expert working with you to narrow down your options.
Research
Now it’s time to do some digging. Some Google searches will help you to find some people in the industry.
Check out dating experts’ sites, client success stories, and methodology.
Do you want group coaching or one-on-one? Do you want in-person coaching or online? Do you prefer pre-recorded videos with an occasional dating coach call?
Think about your learning style. Then look at what these dating experts offer. See if it clicks with you. If so, reach out for some more information. Knowing their hourly rates and packages is also important when deciding on a good fit that also falls within your budget.
Make a list of options and see who gets back to you. Then take it from there. It will feel good to start putting some action into the process.
Try it out
Most experts will have some sort of trial consultation or informational call before you have to commit to paying for an entire package or full first session. Use them.
This is a great way to get a feel for the dating expert.
Do you like their style? Do you feel comfortable with them? Does it sound like they can help you get the results you want?
If you like the trial run, then go for it. If not, try it again with someone else.
It may take talking with a couple of dating experts before you find one that’s right for you.
The Industry’s Top Experts
Who’s who in the dating expert world? Well, here are three of the top dating experts in the industry today.
While they may not be for you, it’s a good idea to check out what seems to be working in the beautiful world of dating coaches right now.
Susan Winter
With over twenty years of experience in the dating coach industry, Susan Winter has proven to be successful in her approach.
She specializes in helping people find and maintain loving and healthy relationships. Susan works with both men and women.
She’s also pretty active on her YouTube channel. So if you want to get a sneak peek into her ideas and style, check out her videos first.
Evan Marc Katz
Evan’s tagline is “the dating coach for smart, strong, successful women.”
Evan Marc Katz has proven to be one of the top dating experts in the industry with a successful dating coaching business specifically geared towards women. He has a program called “Love U” in which he combines daily dating videos with weekly coaching calls.
It’s clear from his website that he’s got some intriguing marketing tactics geared towards women. With about twenty years in the industry, it must work.
Carmelia Ray
Camelia Ray is a well-known coach and matchmaker. She’s known for some of her work with celebrities; however, she’s been in the industry for over thirty years.
She has a blog, a book, and a podcast where she shares her experience in coaching and matchmaking.
While it seems from her website that her matchmaking connections are at the forefront, she also offers online dating coach services.
There’s no shame in asking for help.
Dating can be hard. Just like in life, there’s absolutely no shame in seeking help from an expert to get what you desire.
The dating world has changed so much in the past twenty years, and it keeps changing. What was the norm ten years ago, is now obsolete. If you are tired of trying to keep up, then there are people to help you.
If you feel like you’re ready to make a big change in your dating life and romantic relationships, then a dating expert could be just what you need.
Put yourself out there and give something new a try. I’m sure your love life will thank you.
