To get the second date, you must first get the first date right. A terrible, fidgeting, shy, weird first date is more likely to get you ghosted, leave you frustrated, and have a really bad dating experience. You need to get your first date right!
Yes, I know the usual blah blah that goes on like, “ I don’t know why girls just aren’t interested in me for a second date. I took her out to a fancy dinner and spent lots of money, but she ghosted me. ”
Maybe it could be her, but it could also be you. Taking someone to a fancy dinner and spending every dime isn’t everything.
You need to up your game, and here are a couple of tips on how you can do just that.
First Date Advice for Guys: 9 Best Tips
1. Pick the Right Date Spot
It all starts here: the venue. Where would you want your date to be? To impress her, you must make sure that you pick the best spot.
Unless your dating game is down, don’t take her to weird date spots. Match the venue with the mood. Make sure that you keep an eye on the weather outside and the time of the date.
If you have the means, a nice, fancy place can add a little romantic mood to your date. Pick a fancy restaurant, order something nice and chat. If you are an outdoors guy, then maybe take her for a stroll in a nice location.
Oh, and I didn’t forget about movies. She’s told you before that she likes to watch movies. Then why not treat her to a visit to your local cinema or even watch one with her at home?
You have to get this right; pick the right date spot.
2. Relax. Act Normal
It’s just a date. Relax. This is not a job interview. You are here to have fun, get to know the other person and have a good time. Being all tense during the date will only make the whole date awkward and uncomfortable.
This is not to mention that she will immediately know when you are tense. Girls have good social awareness. Unless you want to have awkward silences during your date, then just make sure that you relax and enjoy the moment.
Acting weird during the first date usually spells out inexperience in dating. For many women, this is a huge turn-off. You can mask that by relaxing and taking the initiative on your date. Be inquisitive, ask her to express herself, and listen.
Remember, oftentimes women get asked out a lot. So if you mess up your first date, then be sure not to get the second.
3. Be Punctual
Girls hate being left in the cold and waiting for someone for hours on end, especially when it’s on a date. If you said that you would arrive by 9, then please don’t arrive at 9:20. She’ll get mad.
She’ll likely think that you didn’t take the date seriously, and she surely won’t waste her time coming for a second date. You know well enough that you would get fired if all you did was arrive late to work every time.
So don’t you think that if you come late for your date, she’ll take that as a sign of disinterest? I’d even say disrespect. When you arrive late, you subtly communicate to her that she is not of such high priority to you.
And I am pretty sure that is the impression you want to leave on her, especially on your first date.
4. Put on Your Best
Dress to impress. Dress immaculately. I do not think that I need to drive this home pretty hard. This should be common knowledge, right? If a girl has agreed to go on a date with you, you can surely bet that she will come dressed in her best.
First dates are all about first impressions. How you dress is the first visual impression that you give to someone. I don’t mean that this should be overkill. Dress according to the weather outside and, I’d say, put on a casual but striking appearance that is surely going to last with her.
I would extend this to personal hygiene. Girls are hawkeyed when it comes to a guy’s hygiene. Coming to a date with bad breath, dirty nails, or even sweaty armpits will surely spell disaster for you.
So, take a bath, groom yourself, put on deodorant, etc. You know the drill.
5. Up Your Talking Game
You will spend the majority of your date talking. So if you haven’t figured out how to have an interesting conversation with her on your first date, then I’d say that it is time that you learn how to.
Don’t wander off to weird topics. Girls are approached by a pretty huge number of men daily in social situations. They know when you are trying too hard. She is making instant judgments about you based on how you carry yourself during the date.
Make sure to have interesting conversations. You can talk about her social life, talk about her school, her friends, her likes and dislikes, et cetera.
My rule of thumb when it comes to this is to treat the conversation with her just slightly as you would treat a conversation with your friends. No corny pick-up lines and memorized lines. That’s high school stuff.
6. Plan Your Date
Have a plan. A successful date is a well-planned date. As a man, you need to take the initiative. Women are pretty comfortable with the man taking the lead during the date. When she agrees to a date with you, she expects you to know where to go, eat, etc.
If you decided that you would have a date by taking her to dinner, then make sure that you take her to a well-respectable place, maybe even a fancy dinner if you have the means to. I’d say you can also pick up the tab.
Maybe sometimes she may pick up the tab, but usually, she’ll expect you to. Remember, this is the first date, and you have to give the best impression that you can. If you choose to go on an outdoor date, then make sure that everything is well planned out.
Just make sure that the whole experience is interesting. Don’t bore her out, or she surely won’t be around for the second
7. Watch Out For Red Flags
If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it is a duck. Watch out for red flags as you go on with your date. I know it can be so easy to ignore these signs on your first date. But remember, these signs are always there to warn you of big problems ahead.
We all go on dates to check the suitability of our dating partners. However, sometimes you might get carried away by the mood, especially if she is good at masking her negative traits. So be attentive.
Notice any negative aspects that might arise from your date and then reassess if she is the right one for you. I agree that you might not get these things from the first date. But always be keen in the case of follow-up dates.
This is my guiding principle when it comes to relationships: Watch for red flags early in your relationships. This will save you a lot of heartache later on.
8. Ask Her For A Second Date
To get the second date, you have to ask her for it. This is also the time to get feedback on your date. If you had a terrific first date, then I am sure that she won’t hesitate to have a second one.
If she agrees to one, then -yikes- you scored! Your first date was good. However, if she turns you down, then you know that you may have some work to do. She may not directly say no, but she may just give you an excuse.
When she says that she’s too busy when you ask her for a second, then you should know pretty quickly that things didn’t go as well as you had hoped. Reassess your date and check on where you went wrong.
Take note and make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes on your next date.
9. Make Sure You Keep In Touch
After a terrific first date, don’t hesitate to keep in touch to make sure that you land the next date. Make sure that you keep in touch via text, sometimes even calls. Just don’t be incessant!
Don’t ring or text her all the time. She can smell the desperation from a mile away!
Remember, even though you have had your first date, you don’t know each other that much.
Text her maybe a few times over the next few days. Just have normal conversations. Ask her how the date went, whether she liked it, ask about her day, et cetera. Just basic stuff.
You don’t need a complex guidebook for this.
Dropping contact after the first date spells disinterest, and she’ll quickly switch off. She will assume that you thought poorly of her to keep in contact with her. Don’t send the wrong signals.
First Date Flirting Tips
Flirting. It happens all the time. I know first-date conversations can be quite tricky. Navigating how to flirt on your first date can also be a tricky affair.
You don’t want to come across as creepy, but at the same time, you know that flirting can loosen up the mood on your date. Here are a couple of tips to up your flirting game.
Show interest. This is, of course, the first rule of flirting. Shower her with compliments. Girls love compliments. Compliment her appearance and show interest.
Smile. Nothing screams “I am interested in you” more than someone smiling at you throughout your date. Don’t put on a gloomy face if you intend to flirt.
Get touchy. Yes, maybe a little touch on her wrist once in a while during the date, a peck throughout the date, etc. Get touchy and spice things up a little bit.
Laugh and be humorous. Humour is sexy. Make sure that you throw in a couple of jokes once in a while throughout your date and laugh when she does the same.
Pay attention to your body posture and body language. Your body language is conveying a subtle message throughout your date. Don’t be aloof and distant if you intend to flirt. Get closer, turn towards her. This subtly conveys your interest.
What To Wear On A First Date
What should you wear on a first date? What are the best outfit ideas that will help you shine?
The outfits that you choose for any occasion send a message. This is no different, especially on your first date.
The time and the weather outside as you go on your date hugely determine what you should select for your date. A certain outfit will be okay for a morning date while another will not be for an evening date.
Similarly, a certain outfit will be okay in summer while another will only be okay during winter. Go with whatever the season requires, but keep it casual.
This lightens the mood of your date. Though good, I’d not recommend formal attire for your date. This is surely not an interview. Just make sure you put on the latest striking fashionable outfit, and you’ll rock your date!
First Date Conversation Tips
I remember how I was nervous early on before I was able to master my dating game. How do I speak? What should I say? Will I bore her to death?
These were all questions that would sometimes linger in my head.
You have to know how to get a really interesting conversation going on your first date, or else you might be very unlucky not to get the second date. So do you feel that you need some little tips up your sleeve that can up your game? Let’s check a few.
Have you talked with her before? If so, just pick up from where you left off. It’s often common for people to chat via text before they can agree to meet on a date. This is especially true if you met her on a dating app. So my advice is to just carry on.
Add a little humor. Humour is always sexy. Girls love someone humorous. So don’t bore her up. Crack some jokes here and there and make her laugh.
Shower her with compliments. Girls love compliments. You know that, don’t you? Compliment her, but please be genuine.
Let her speak. I know guys sometimes get this wrong. We assume that we are the ones that have to always take the initiative here. Surprise? She may have had a perfect date if you listened to her and let her take the initiative.
Do Guys Get Nervous Before A First Date?
Simple answer, yes. I was nervous at first when I started dating. However, with time and more experience, things get easier and, not to say, much more fun. As you go on many dates, familiarity kicks in and you learn how to overcome nervousness.
Getting nervous before going on a date, I’d say, is normal. However, to up your dating game, you have to learn how to overcome this. My advice, I’d say relax. Nervousness can lead to many awkward moments as you go on with your date.
Not to mention how loudly it speaks of your inexperience. Girls can tell that a guy is a rookie when it comes to dating if he’s nervous, fidgety, and awkward during the date. I am pretty sure that is not the impression that you want to give her, right?
Second Date Tips
The second date is always the icing on the cake. It’s a good sign that you impressed her well enough that she agreed to have a second date with you. She thinks that you are good enough, but wait; she is still assessing you. So, don’t mess up your second date.
Here are a couple of tips that can prove to be worthwhile.
Choose an entirely different date setting. So, your first date went well. I know this might tempt you to do a rerun. However, this might well make it monotonous. Plan your second date entirely differently from your first. If you took her to a fancy restaurant, try hitchhiking next time. If your first date was outdoors, maybe take her for a movie session next time.
Maybe dress a little more casually this time around. I know you dressed to kill on your first date. That impressed her. Next time, try maybe dressing casually to show her the other fun-loving side of you. Show her the other side of you that she’d see every day if she got into a relationship with you.
Continue where you left off on your first date. Anything interesting that came up during your first date? Did you discover something about her during your first date that you thought was cool? Then bring it up in your conversation on your second date. The second date is always a continuation of your first date.
Ask her lots of questions. Yes, let her speak. Take this as an opportunity to get to know her better. Listen. Ladies love men that listen to them. Draw her first in your conversations, but sometimes put the ball in her court and let her take the initiative.
As a guy myself, I can understand why first-date advice is very necessary. This is especially important if you are just exploring the dating scene or you are just entering the dating scene after a long hiatus.
Follow the above tips and I can surely bet that your date experience will be successful. Not to mention that she is more likely to agree to a second date.
Make sure that you impress her well enough to land a second date—I am sure that is what the first date is for, right?