How To Get A Guy To Text You First: 7 Ways To Make Him Text

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How To Get A Guy To Text You First

Yeah, I know that feeling. You’ve got a huge crush or admiration of that super cool guy but you’ve always wondered, “How can I get into his world? How can I get him to text me first?”

Or you already know him but you’ve always been the one to text first. You’re probably thinking, “This looks needy, and I really don’t wanna look needy…” And so on and so on…

Yes, I know the dating game can be really confusing and frustrating at times. However, I am here to give you tips on how to get him to text you first and avoid the agonizing thought that you get of looking needy when you initiate the first text conversation. This is not a magic bullet, but it is surely worth the try…

Tips On How To Get A Guy To Text You First!

One thing that many women struggle with is getting men to text them first. It seems like every man has his own set of rules for texting and flirting, and if you don’t follow them, he might just ignore you altogether. 

But there are ways to get him to text you first, and we’re going to teach you exactly how to do it.

Tips On How To Get A Guy To Text You First

1. Don’t make yourself too available

You’ve heard it before; desperation kills attraction. Keep your distance. You cannot always be free all the time for him.

You don’t need to ignore him, but you surely don’t need to be too available for him. The more he thinks that you have all the time in the world for him, the more he will not put in the effort to chase you. The more he’ll miss you, the more he will try to get in contact with you.

If you just text him first, he’ll probably think you’re just waiting around for him and he won’t put in the effort. So to get the guy to text you first, don’t text him and let him come to you.

2. But why should he text you? (Give him a reason)

Yes, first, why should he even text you? Is there any follow-up from the last conversation you have that he’ll need to text you to follow up on? Lead him on.

Give him a reason. If you know he follows you online, why not put up that post that you know he’ll see and want to follow up on. Apart from the fact that he likes you, try to think of any other reason that he would have to text you.

Maybe include something in your conversations that for him to follow up on, he’ll have to text you to find out. Share stuff you know he likes online that will prompt him to text you later on or comment on it.

3. Have a great time together

Couple having a blast watching movies together.
Couple having a blast watching movies together.

We all know that attraction is what creates relationships. Why should he bother to text you if he thinks you’re dull, boring, and not interesting? Yes, I know I’ve mentioned before that you should not bother if he’s not interested in you.

But some of it can be due to you not having something that can get him hooked to you. Make sure that the time that you spend together is great. Make him laugh, compliment him, give him advice on something that he needs help on, and so on and so on…

Make the time spent together with him memorable. That will make sure that the moment you leave him, you’ll leave him missing you, and he’ll often text you to check up on you.

4. Just don’t text him first (Seriously, Don’t)

Sure, all your girlfriends know that you really like him and you two have good chemistry whenever you are together. But they also know he doesn’t text you or if he does, you’re the one who is always reaching out to him.

I know then you may be thinking, “If I want him to text me, well shouldn’t I initiate the conversation myself?” But no, don’t do it.

Remember, if you really want a guy to text you first, the point here is all about being absent and making him miss you. If you’re the one that will constantly be texting him first, then he will not bother to do it himself. Let’s not forget that this could come out as being too needy and could make him run away.

I am dead sure this is not what you’re looking for.

5. Ask why he hasn’t texted you yet

A girl in a coffeeshop texting
A girl in a coffeeshop texting.

Yes, ask him why he doesn’t text you. It’s always such a good time when you are together but when you leave, he doesn’t get back to you. Find out why by directly asking him.

Sometimes people don’t know something is a problem until the time when you bring it up. Maybe he’s expecting you to always text, and he doesn’t bother to do it himself. Here, being a little inquisitive will be okay.

However, don’t try to come out as too accusatory. Maybe he is either too busy with something or he is not the type to initiate text conversations. You can inform him that you enjoy texting him first but you wonder why he doesn’t text you first himself.

If he really likes you then he will try to remedy the situation.

6. Get to know his friends

Once you have gotten to know him and have probably spoken a few times before, you can also take the initiative to get to know his friends. It is not uncommon for guys to introduce girls that they like to their friends.

If you’re cool to hang out with and radiate a good vibe, you’ll often come up in conversations with his friends. I’ve seen guys develop an interest in girls who are in their friends’ circle. Why can’t that be you?

7. Just accept it (Not all guys will be first to text)

Surely you cannot pursue an interest in someone that has none for you. Don’t take it from a negative perspective. Everyone has their tastes and dislikes, who they like and dislike, etc.

Try to get him to do so first. However, if you have done all the above and nothing is happening yet, maybe it is time to accept it and just move on.

So Should I wait for him to text me first?

You met this guy just a few days ago. You have exchanged a few words here and there and then nothing much. It’s only a few days ago that you noticed him. Yes, you have probably noticed how cute he is, but you basically don’t know much about him.

At this point, you cannot surely expect him to always be in your DMs and have conversations with you all day. Go slow.

Take things one step at a time, this could be the first date after all. Take time and let things develop naturally as you get to know him more. The moral of the story here is…Take your time.

Let him get comfortable around you. Get to know if he is the type to text. If so, then you can pick up things from there.

real love takes time

How do I get him to initiate a conversation?

Some guys are not that much into texting. He could probably be the guy that initiates conversation just once in a while and he’s not really down to spending his time on the phone texting. Or maybe he just likes calls instead.

Figuring this out is important to differentiate between disinterest and interest. Maybe every time you meet, he’ll initiate the conversation, then spend all the time talking with you, flirting, but he’ll never send that first text. You see that he is not disinterested in you.

However, you also see that he never takes time to text to know how you’ve been when you’re not together. Here, in this case, there is not really much that you can do. However, here a little pushing might be helpful.

Try to remind him to text you later on. Maybe giving him an instruction could be helpful.

Why do guys not text first?

One of the reasons is that they’re afraid that if they text first, then the girl will reject them. This is a common fear among guys, especially when they’ve never done anything like this before. 

But the truth is, most girls aren’t going to reject them over a text. In fact, most girls would rather receive a text from a guy than nothing at all. So if you really want to get a guy to send you a text, you need to give him some incentive.

Finally, Some guys aren’t even worth your attention

You like this guy that you meet at work or school. You know him and have wanted him for a long time, but he has never bothered to ask for your contact or even shown any interest. Girl, maybe he is not really interested in you.

Yes, I know that’s harsh. But that sometimes can be the truth. Maybe he’s not into you.

In this case, you just need to move on and understand that there is always that special someone lurking around for you. You just need to keep on searching, and you’ll find the one that you click with.


These are all great ways to get him to open up to you and text you first. Once he does, you can start making plans together and hopefully move things along. 

Just make sure to check your texts.

Photo of author


Over the years, Stephanie has had her fair share of dating experiences. While some turned out great, others weren't so great. She believes that relationships are meant to be fun, exciting, and full of laughter. She wants to help men and women become confident, attractive, and successful in their romantic relationships.