A new love interest is exciting, especially because of the back and forth texts. Texting your crush, either to just check in, ask a question, or invite them somewhere, should bring out your wittiest and most funny self. But this is impossible if you are a dry texter.
What happens when you can’t seem to write more than “cool,” “haha,” “okay,” or “lmao”? And you can’t seem to get past the short, boring, meaningless texts.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we refer to as “dry texting.”
What is dry texting?
Dry texting is when you use short (usually one-word responses) and boring replies in a conversation. Dry texts are boring, uninteresting, and lack enthusiasm because you are not adding anything to the conversation.
In other words, you are making it hard for the other person to continue with the conversation. It can be awkward to reply to one-word responses.
What does dry texting look like?
The following are examples of dry texting.
- Haha
- Okay/k
- Yes
- No/nah/nope
- Cool
- IDK
- Thanks
- Sure
- Great
- Lol/lmao
Sometimes, it is hard to tell if you’re a dry texter or if it’s a manifestation of a particular personality. Some people are naturally boring, or they just happen to be awkward. Some introverts, for instance, dislike texting as much as they dislike phone calls.
How can you tell that your texts are dry? Here are some signs:
- You repeatedly send one-word replies.
- You don’t ask questions.
- It takes a long time for you to reply.
- You never text first.
- You text sporadically.
- You ignore images, videos, links, or memes.
- You repeatedly claim, “I didn’t see your message.”
What makes someone a dry texter?
There are various reasons why someone could be a dry texter.
They might be busy. Sometimes, people are genuinely busy and can’t reply immediately. So, they might see the notification and only have a few seconds to type a quick reply. Thus, the one-word responses.
They might not be into texting. They don’t want to be creative or be social via text messages. Therefore, when they text, they just want to communicate something real quick, and that is it.
They might have lost interest. They might not like you and be playing the “figure it out yourself and stop” card, and vice versa.
You might have said something that upset them. Maybe not intentionally, you might have said something to throw them off, or maybe the previous texts were insensitive or boring, and they are sending dry texts just to be polite.
So, how can you tell if you’re not interested, or if you’re just a dry texter? Ask yourself these questions.
Is this your personality?
Are you a natural dry texter? Do you always reply with “cool” or “okay” because that is just how you are?
When you’ve known someone for a while, you can tell the difference by looking at the pattern. If you were initially engaged, that’s a sign that you might have lost interest along the way.
But if you were a dry texter from the beginning, there’s nothing to worry about. Your crush just needs to work extra hard to keep the messages engaging and interesting.
What communication style do you prefer?
Do you like texting? What mode of communication works well for you?
Text messages can feel like a limited form of communication. You can’t quite tell the other person’s tone or body language. To you, it’s distracting and draining, especially because of the expectation of having to text back almost immediately. Hence the dry texting.
So, think about your preferred communication style. Do you prefer phone calls, Facetime, or meeting up?
You might be slowly losing interest if you previously replied with fun, engaging messages, then suddenly switched that up to one-word responses.
Do you initiate a conversation?
Does your crush do all the texting? If you never initiate a conversation, you may not be interested. When you like a person, you at least put in some effort. An uninterested person will put in zero effort to try and reach out.
A dry texter can put in a little effort and send a “what’s up” message to their crush.
How to not be a dry texter and keep your crush interested
Go back and read your messages. What do you see? Are you proud of yourself?
Well, if you saw a couple of “yeah,” “cool,” “what’s up,” and other dry texts, you had better up your game.
The good news is… We have some tips for you to overcome this problem and improve the quality of your texting.
Stop sending one-word messages
“Yup.” “Maybe.” “Haha.” “Ok.”
Come on!
One-word replies are not it, whether you’re texting with your high school crush, tinder match, platonic friend, girlfriend, or boyfriend. They are frustrating and could be a negative sign.
Even if you’re busy or your crush sent a message at a bad time, avoid using one-word answers. The other person is invested in the conversation, and they expect you to be invested as well.
Instead of the dreaded “k,” try something like this, “I’m in the middle of something right now, so I can’t chat. Talk later.”
Or instead of typing “hello,” be creative and say something like, “Hey you. What was the most interesting thing you did today?” This can help you draw out more information to deepen the conversation.
Stop leaving people on read for too long
People can associate it with ignorance if you don’t respond to messages. If you don’t respond promptly to texts, you keep the other party wondering and hoping.
It can make them anxious, and this can cause stress.
Communicate if you’re truly busy or not in a position to text back immediately. Say something like, “I can’t chat now. I’m a little tied up with this new project. I’ll be in touch when I’m free.”
Since they’ll be expecting a reply, text back as soon as possible. Don’t keep them waiting for a reply for 2 or more days.
Ask questions
If you’re trying to make your texts interesting, ask the right questions; ask about anything you’d like to know and get personal if you wish. But avoid yes-or-no questions; they lead to yes-or-no answers.
Ask about their life, what makes them happy, what makes them mad, their goals and dreams, what book they are reading, and what their boss is like.
Just anything.
No one wants those annoying, impersonal, and empty texts from someone they’re just getting to know.
So, ask questions to keep the conversation engaging as you get to know each other.
But avoid generic questions
According to a group of Harvard researchers, people who ask meaningful follow-up questions other than the usual “how are you?” find the other person more likable.
So, ditch the “what are you doing?” or “How was your day?” and ask questions that can get their attention and make them think.
Instead of “how was work?”, try “I know you’ve been working on that new project at work; what’s the next step?”
Send emojis, memes, and gifs
Another way you can keep your text messages fun and interesting is by being dynamic. Add fun elements and reactions to your messages by throwing in a few emojis, memes, and gifs here and there. They add personality and humor and make texting fun.
You can always find the perfect emoji, meme, or gif for any reaction.
Pay attention to what’s been said
Pay attention to all the details, especially the tiny details. Try as much as you can to remember what they share with you; names of certain people (friends and family), important dates, occasions, places, etc.
If you want someone to know that you like them, show them that you listen to them. Remembering the little details such as birthdays, preferred meals, favorite teams, and players (if they’re into sports), etc., can make them feel special.
“Hey there. I know you mentioned that you have a test today. I know you’ve been studying a lot, and I wish you all the best.”
Initiate a conversation
One thing about being a dry texter is that you expect the other person to text first. If you don’t want to seem uninterested or boring, you sometimes have to break that cycle and text first.
It may be scary since you may not know what to say sometimes. But pick up the phone and text something.
“Happy Friday! What do you have planned for this weekend?”
Ask an opinion
We all want to feel like our opinions matter. But sometimes you need other people’s opinions on things. Asking for an opinion is a great way to start a conversation.
It shows your crush that you value their thoughts. It could be as simple as, “I’m attending my friend’s farewell party this Saturday. Which outfit between the two works best?”
Be invested
Pay attention to the text as much as you would in real life. Instead of rushing to reply using single words, when responding, give thoughtful replies. Show them that you care.
Avoid this:
Them: “Just wrapped up my job interview!”
You: “Okay.”
Instead, try this:
Them: “Just wrapped up my job interview!”
You: “That’s great. What do you think of the questions.”
Be yourself
Text how you would talk in real life. Actively respond how you would if you were having a face-to-face conversation.
Also, have your own writing style. Don’t try to force or copy another person’s writing style. It can be hard at first, but you find your own way of texting with time.
Write something flirty
Flirty texts let the other person know that they’re on your mind. Flirting a little can help you open up a conversation, and it’s exciting.
When writing flirty texts, be as playful and fun as you can.
“What does your week look like? Any room for me?”
Texting is an easy way to communicate. Good communication involves both parties sharing information. If your crush shares information about himself/herself, you can share something about yourself.
Send one message at a time
Avoid constantly sending messages, one after the other, even when they’re not replying. Their phone could be off, they could be busy, or their phone could have been stolen.
Send one message and wait for their response. Be cool. Don’t spam.
Do people think I’m rude if I’m a dry texter?
Dry texting can be awkward and hard for the person on the receiving end. You’re not giving people anything to keep the conversation going. Sometimes it can come out as passive-aggressiveness.
When you write “K,” for instance, what does that mean? You clearly don’t have time for them. Heck, you can’t even write any extra letters.
The same thing happens when you can’t respond to texts. It could be translated as, “I read your message, and I don’t care enough to respond.”
Dry texting may seem rude, especially if it’s done intentionally.
What do you do if dry texting continues?
Texting your crush should be fun and exciting. You’re most likely losing interest if you feel stressed out or overwhelmed anytime you have to text or reply to a message.
If you try the above tips but still can’t get past dry texting, try to find alternative modes of communication: phone calls, Facetime, or meeting up.
Just try to figure out a way to talk to them.
If you feel like everything is not working altogether, it’s time to give up. Because clearly, you’re not into them. Forced conversations don’t flow no matter how much effort you put in.
Conclusion
Texting your crush should be a great way to learn more about them. But we can’t all be fun texters.
Dry texting can be a bummer and can make your crush feel like throwing their phone at a wall. But you can change the game.
Start by bringing up interesting discussions and asking the right questions. That’s a great start to making your conversations interesting and engaging.
