Whether you are dating him for his money or are genuinely attracted to him, these tips will help you get what you want.
From making him feel special to letting him be your man, you need to master the art of dating an older guy.
Feeling stuck? Don’t worry; that’s why we are here. This article covers practical tips on dating an older guy, including how to impress him, what to expect, and more.
Continue reading to find out more.
Practical Tips On Dating an Older Guy
Here are eleven tips for every woman who wants to date or is dating an older man:
1. Acknowledge the age difference and treat it with respect
One mistake some people in age-gap relationships make is ignoring the age difference. They expect their relationship dynamics to be the same as if there were no age difference by ignoring them.
That can never be the case because age differences, whether it be just a little older like 7 years or even more, comes with differences that affect your relationship compared to dating a younger guy than you. For example, you will have different interests and be at various stages in your life.
Your man will be in an advanced stage of his career while you work your way up. Furthermore, while you may prefer to spend your weekend clubbing, he may prefer to spend his time indoors bonding.
Acknowledging your age gap means understanding there will be differences, so instead of fighting over them, you try to accommodate them.
So, to avoid unnecessary issues, treat your differences respectfully. A good example is when you are talking about your childhood shows.
Instead of making him feel like the 70s shows were not as good as your 90s shows, try to understand why his shows stood out to him and later talk about your shows and why you liked them.
2. Watch out for your need to change him
Since there will be differences in interests, hobbies, and other things, you will likely feel the need to change him so you share the same interests.
Watch out for this; he might feel you want to control him or change who he is.
Nothing good comes out of this, and you will likely cause more chaos. As an older guy, he knows what he wants and has a firm stand on what he likes.
Trying to change that might create a negative gap between you two; instead, accommodate his interests and communicate your own.
If you like different activities, engage him in yours and his too. Who knows? You might win him to your side or him to his.
3. Allow him time to work his magic in the bedroom
Depending on his age, he might need more time to work his magic in the bedroom. You don’t expect him to have the same drive as a 24-year-old man.
Besides, he has experience with women and will likely know better than to rush to the finish line. So while he might do things differently from what you are used to (men who rush to the finish line), be patient and let him do his thing.
The thing about older men is that they understand how to take things slowly and model them to perfection. So you might be surprised by how he blows your mind once you give him time.
So instead of judging him negatively from the start, which might block you from the whole experience, relax, be patient, and enjoy.
And in case he doesn’t meet your expectations after several attempts, talk to him maturely and politely, and guide him the next time.
4. He is your lover, not your father
Though he might be the same age as your father, he is not him, so don’t treat him like your dad.
In addition, don’t compare him to your dad. Because your dad likes politics or golf, don’t expect him to like it too.
And even if he likes the same things as your dad, don’t in any way try to compare the two to his face.
You might do it unknowingly, but he will notice and not like it. For example, if he plays golf like your dad, you might comment that he plays better than him, automatically making him feel the comparison.
Simply, don’t compare him to your dad or treat him like your father.
5. Allow him to be your man
Every man wants to protect, provide for, and be there for his woman. And as he ages, he grows into it and cares more about playing his masculine part.
Allow your man to do this for you, as it makes him feel manly. So, if he offers to accompany you to the store at 20:00 because he wants you to be safe, let him do it.
Another thing: stop acting “miss independent” and let him provide. We live in an era where women work equally as hard as men and can comfortably cater to their needs.
There is nothing wrong with that, but if you think about it, this robs men of what they derive joy from providing.
So, while you shouldn’t ask him to pay your rent, allow him to provide for you when he offers.
Let him do all the manly things, whether it’s offering to pay for your dinner or opening the door for you. Just let him be your man.
6. Be straight with him
Amidst his busy lifestyle, the last thing he needs is a girlfriend who can’t be straight with him. So communicate your needs and wants instead of playing games.
That cold or silent treatment might create more distance when you hoped it would communicate your wants.
Instead of cutting communication because he missed your work date, tell him how you really feel.
Besides, how will he know how you feel when you shut him out instead of saying it?
A younger guy might figure it out eventually, but your older partner has too much on his plate to play dating games.
7. Set emotional boundaries
As with every senior adult, your man has had his share of life challenges that may result in emotional baggage. For example, it might be a tough divorce or losing custody of his children.
Such things cause serious pain, which takes time to heal. As you try to help him overcome the pain, be careful and protect yourself, so he doesn’t project his feelings onto you.
An excellent way to do this is by setting emotional boundaries. This way, you are not being selfish but knowing how far you can go for him emotionally while remaining sane enough to continue helping him.
Besides, you also need a healthy mental state, hence the need to set boundaries.
In addition, healthy boundaries also protect him from your emotional baggage.
8. Work on your compatibility
As I mentioned, there will be differences resulting from your age gap. So instead of focusing on the differences, work on your compatibility.
Begin with an open mind, free of age-related stereotypes, and engage in a non-judgmental conversation with him.
Be an active listener and keep in mind the things he says. People often communicate their wants in open conversations. So if you are attentive, you can know the likes and dislikes of your man without necessarily asking him.
Once you learn things that matter to him, focus more on those and how to implement them until you bridge the gap and build compatibility.
9. Be authentic and confident
An older man is more attracted to authenticity and your real self. So instead of faking your personality to impress him, be yourself and let him fall in love with who you are.
In addition, be confident enough to express your opinions, even when you disagree with some of his views.
Older men find a woman who expresses her interests confidently more attractive than a “yes, sir” type of woman.
So feel free to communicate clearly and express yourself. You let him know your wants and give him a reason to find you attractive.
How Can I Impress an Older Guy?
Make him feel needed, show admiration, conduct yourself with elegance, and work on yourself.
Make him feel needed
If you miss him, let him know. Talk about the memories you’ve created together, and let him know his impact on your life.
Your guy, like any other man, prefers to go where he feels and knows he is needed. You can ask him to help you with simple tasks like vacuuming the house when he is around.
However, you should know how to go about this so you don’t come off as commanding. Instead, watch your tone when asking for help and be polite.
Let him know you appreciate him
Show appreciation in the simplest ways. Let him know you appreciate his efforts in every way.
Even making time to see you on a weekday requires appreciation, especially during his busy season.
Show admiration and make him feel accepted
As I said, a good relationship should not make you aware of the age difference. This applies to him too. Make him feel accepted, so he doesn’t recognize your age difference.
One way to achieve this is to treat him rightly and with admiration. Affirm his position in your life and remind him of your love for him.
Conduct yourself with elegance
Even when you disagree with certain things, be respectful. That’s one aspect of elegance.
In addition, don’t try to prove yourself right even when you know you are. So when engaging in debatable conversations with him and his friends, know when you’re expressing your opinions and proving yourself right.
Boost your self-esteem
Confidence is a valuable tip when dating an older man. But to be confident, you need to work on your self-esteem and overcome your insecurities.
You can’t project confidence when dealing with self-doubt. Start by acknowledging your insecurities and doubts, then focus on your personal growth.
If you are dealing with serious issues affecting your self-esteem, it’s wise to seek help not just for the relationship but for your personal development as well.
What Should You Not Do When Dating an Older Guy?
Make him feel old and less of a man, and act younger than your age. These things will drive him away.
In addition, don’t be on the receiving end all the time, as that might imply you are only there because he can provide.
Lastly, don’t let other people’s prejudice affect your relationship.
Don’t make him feel any less of a man
Most women unknowingly do this by assuming he doesn’t care about some things because he is older. So when he does them, they go unnoticed and unappreciated.
Another mistake is not respecting him or being rude to him or his friends.
Even if he did something unacceptable, never talk to him in a manner that questions his manhood or diminishes him.
You can also make a man question his existence by bragging about your independence. So because he is older, you act like you were doing fine when he wasn’t around.
Don’t be on the receiving end all the time
While you should let him do his manly duties, ensure that you are not always on the receiving end.
Do something for him once in a while and let him feel loved and appreciated. You don’t have to go overboard. A simple gesture like surprising him with a special home-cooked meal on his busy day can go a long way.
You can also be there for him like you expect him to be for you. Even older men want to be cared for, not just take care of others.
Don’t make him feel too old
Though he is older, don’t make him feel like a fossil. A good relationship should not allow you to feel the age difference.
Some women do this by talking about their younger exes and comparing them to their partners.
Talking about your ex to your lover is wrong, let alone comparing his energetic youthfulness to your senior partner’s.
Another way to do this is by flirting with younger guys in his presence; even entertaining them should be out of the question.
He might start thinking you prefer younger guys because why else would you be entertaining them in his presence?
Don’t allow people’s prejudice to affect your relationship
The good news is that when the man is older, people criticize less than when the woman is older.
However, some people will still have something to say. For example, you will be accused of having “daddy issues,” but don’t let this affect your relationship.
Besides, if you don’t mind, it shouldn’t matter. And if you do, then you shouldn’t be with him in the first place.
Don’t widen the age gap
There is already an age difference; the last thing you want to do is widen it. One way you can do this is by acting or dressing younger than your age.
This not only widens the gap but is also embarrassing. Imagine a 35-year-old dressing like a teenager or clubbing throughout the night.
Your man won’t like it because if he wanted a teenager, he would have found one. He was attracted to you, and though you might be younger, acting younger than your age is embarrassing and might drive him away.
What to Keep in Mind When Dating an Older Man
When you know what to expect, you will be less disappointed and know how to deal with it. Some of the things to keep in mind when dating an older man are:
He may be possessive.
He may develop a possessive attitude toward you. If you notice it, talk to him, as he might be doing it unknowingly.
He might have emotional baggage
Throughout his life, he might have experienced unpleasant encounters that left him with emotional baggage.
As his lover, understand this and help him through it.
You won’t do the same things you would with a younger man
Your friends might tell you all about their boyfriends and their wonderful experiences. It’s natural to want to try the same things as your friends, especially the fascinating ones.
However, if your friends are dating younger guys, you can’t expect your man to engage in the same things.
When you understand this, you are closer to bridging your age gap.
There will be compromises
You need to meet him halfway, meaning you will make sacrifices and compromises to meet him there, and so will he.
You can talk about this, particularly on issues you disagree on. For example, you can go out one weekend and spend another chilling in the house. This way, everyone walks away happy.
He will often be your mentor
Let’s be honest; with his extensive live experience, he knows better than you. And as your lover, he won’t allow you to make life mistakes when he can help. That means he will be your active mentor in all ways.
So instead of fighting it, embrace and appreciate his help.
Common Challenges When Dating an Older Guy
- Dealing with insecurities
- Societal stereotypes, even from your loved ones
- You have less in common
- There may be people in his life, e.g., an ex-wife or kids
- He probably has a busy schedule, so no much time for you
Can Dating an Older Guy Lead to Marriage?
It sure can. We’ve seen celebrities like Catherine Zeta Jones (who is currently 53) and Michael Douglas (who is currently 78) get married and live happily together.
Even Jay-Z is older than Beyonce by almost ten years. We also can’t forget Ryan Reynolds (46 years old) and Blake Lively (35 years old).
So yes, dating an older guy can lead to a successful marriage, provided you can move past the age differences.
When dating an older guy, treat him with respect, love, and appreciation like any other man.
Work on bridging the gap and creating memories instead of focusing on your differences.
Besides, whether old or young, men have different personalities, and you might be surprised how much more compatible you are with an older guy than with a younger one.