Texting a girl for the first time can be nerve-wracking. Even celebrities go through this minefield.
Dylan Sprouse’s first text to his now-girlfriend didn’t get a reply for six months. But now Barbara and Dylan are four years strong.
You just have to be imaginative and patient to strike up a conversation. Confused about what to text a girl for the first time?
This article has all the tips and tricks to help you out.
10 Things to Text a Girl for the First Time
If your relationship is newly blossoming, texting can make you nervous. Everyone wants to put their best foot forward.
However, it doesn’t have to be so complicated. Just be the respectful and charming guy your girl likes.
Here are some interesting things you can send to initiate a conversation.
1. Hey, I’m _____ from _____
Introduce yourself. It’s basic manners whenever you meet someone for the first time.
Remind her where or how you two met if she knows you already.
2. We never completed our discussion last night
When she gave you her number, you probably talked about something.
Continue the conversation and show you remember what you both talked about.
3. If you’re free, can I drop in your inbox?
A polite way to start texting is by asking if she’s free. You won’t want to disturb her if she’s busy somewhere else.
The girl will also take note of your consideration and like you more.
4. Loved meeting you today
Getting a text after a great first date makes every girl giddy.
You can express yourself and show interest in going out with her.
5. Where am I? Take a guess
This text will make her curious. You have better chances of getting a reply if the girl is intrigued.
However, it may alarm her too. So, if you don’t get a reply soon, tell her yourself. You can also make it cheesy, like “Lost in your thoughts.”
6. Have you heard this song?
If you know any of her favorite singers, you can mention their newly released songs.
It doesn’t have to be a song. Go with any movie, book, or news you recently heard that your girl might be interested in.
Talking about her interests can be a great conversation starter.
7. You seem like such a cool person
A compliment is an excellent way to start texting. Make sure you praise her personality or activities. Complementing physical attributes can seem too forward at the start.
Many girls feel compliments about their physical features are superficial in the beginning.
8. Hey, quick question
Ask her a question about something as an icebreaker. Like: do you like flowers or chocolates? What’s your favorite restaurant?
Something about her that you can use when you meet her again. Or you can also ask her about something she’s an expert in.
9. Hi, we met at _____. Are you up for a quick bite?
If texting makes you nervous, ask her out on a date. Being assertive is well-liked by many girls.
10. What are you doing besides missing me?
This one can be a little cheeky or downright obnoxious. It depends on what sort of attachment you have and how much she knows.
We suggest you avoid texting it to someone you’ve never met before. That can come off as cocky.
Consult texting guides if you’re feeling uncertain over what to text a girl.
What to Text a Girl You Don’t Know?
Texting someone you know for the first time is easy. But you might feel more conscious of what to text if you don’t know her.
Here are some fun message ideas you can use.
Basic but crucial. Always introduce yourself if you’re texting a girl you don’t know.
You can text, “Hey, I’m (your name). I’m in a psychology class.” Or “I’m a friend of (your mutual friend).
Try something generic like “Love your profile picture of your dog,” or if she’s doing an activity like bowling, “Looks like you have perfect aim.”
Talk about mutual interests like “Hey, I saw you have a kitten, I do too,” or “I see you like Nirvana. I love their songs.”
Get to the point and ask her out politely. Say, “Hey, we met at the cafe. Care to meet for coffee there?”
The easiest approach is to share a funny meme or joke to make her laugh.
However, introduce yourself after that, or you might look creepy.
Tips for Texting
Text a girl if she has some link to you, like a mutual friend or a group chat.
Make sure you follow these tips.
If you’re sending her a text on social media, put on a nice profile picture. You’ll look more approachable and genuine.
Find a Legit Reason
Don’t text a girl just because you’re bored. Respect her time and express your interest lightly.
Give Time To Respond
Wait for her to reply at her pace. She might get many random messages.
If you text her repeatedly, she’ll feel highly wary of you.
Don’t Be Overbearing
Never be cocky or try to impress her. Chances are you’ll make her run the other way.
Check out the “How To Text A Girl” book to find more exciting approaches to texting.
How Do You Flirt With a Girl Over Text?
Now that you’ve established a base, you can pursue her romantically. However, make sure both of you are on the same page.
Be respectful and flirt only if she’s comfortable with you.
According to research, people associate positive emotions with texting, such as delight, satisfaction, and contentment. That’s why texting can be a great way to flirt casually.
Some things you can do are:
Don’t be boring like ‘you’re beautiful. Bring some freshness and originality. The same old cheesy pick-up lines wouldn’t do you any good.
- Why are you so adorable?
- All I need is you.
- I’m counting the hours until I see you again.
Girls love compliments, but you have to make them specific. Tell them in detail what you like about them.
- Love the way your freckles shine in the sun.
- You looked gorgeous in your red dress.
- It didn’t take me long to see how kind you are.
Ask Playful Questions
You don’t have to keep the conversation to yourself. Turn it around on her and catch her like a deer in headlights.
Ask her things like,
- You were thinking of me, weren’t you?
- How can I work if you’re always on my mind?
Make Her Guess
Add curiosity to the mix, and text:
- Guess who I am thinking about.
- So I had a crazy dream last night…
- Guess which emoji I put next to your contact name.
Share a couple of GIFs and memes saying:
- This is so us.
- Want to do this with you.
Keep It Short
When it comes to flirting, short and sweet texts are your best bet. Try:
- Miss you. Please send a picture.
- Fun fact: popcorn reminds me of our movie date.
- You make me feel better.
How Do I Make Texting Interesting?
Initially, texting is fun, but with time, keeping the spark alive becomes challenging.
Tips to Send Interesting Texts
Here are some tips you can use to have an exciting conversation.
Ask About Her Bucket List
Ask her what she wants to do in life or places she wants to visit. Talking about her interest will make her feel heard.
Like, “I used to make flower jewelry.”
Share something intriguing that she would like to know about you. Encourage her to do the same.
A study states women are twice as likely to use emojis than men.
You can match her interests and incorporate emojis into your texts too. Many couples say that whenever texting starts to take a boring turn, they use emojis to make it engaging.
Like, “Did you know kissing burns 2-3 calories per minute?” You can share some knowledge and flirt with her at the same time.
Killing two birds with one stone.
A funny approach can be copying her texts. Text her commonly used phrases and see how quickly she catches on.
Girls like to chase too. Make her work for it and say, “I was just busy…” She’ll definitely want to know more.
Visit The Past
Ask her something about her childhood or hometown.
Things to Avoid When Texting
Conversations become dull when you make these frequent mistakes.
Nagging her again and again over something will annoy not only her but you too.
Double texting can be a huge turn-off. You might get a reply soon, but if you double text in impatience, she’ll be irritated.
Asking Intrusive Questions
Don’t ask personal questions over text. If you don’t get a reply to a personal question, leave it. It’s better to respect her boundaries than to intrude.
Using Poor Grammar
Improper grammar is a huge no-no in texting etiquette. Texts like ‘wat u doin’ are less likely to be appreciated than ‘Hey. What are you up to?”
You don’t need to be highly proper; texting is casual, but at least put some effort into typing. Too many abbreviations like “lol” or “wyd” make the conversation boring.
Girls dislike guys who only boast about themselves. No one likes the cat that ate the canary. Be humble, and don’t fish for compliments.
What Can I Text a Girl to Make Her Blush?
Making a girl blush can be a task if you can’t use body language and facial expression. However, you can still do it over text.
You don’t need to be explicit. Here are some simple things that will do the trick:
Alicia Monez, a family therapist, says being direct is your best bet. Girls like confident men—emphasis on confidence, not overconfidence.
Try sending texts like
- You. Me. Candlelight dinner. Tonight.
- I love it when you talk about make-up.
Being assertive (and giving direct compliments) leaves no room for doubt and some color on her cheeks.
Being Discreet Yet Expressive
If you want to play risque but still want to give her space, text her this:
- I’ve got an inappropriate reply to that, but let’s not share it right now.
That’ll give her enough hints, and you’ll still seem like a gentleman.
Playful Date Suggestion
You can discuss playful dates as you flirt with her on text.
Some text ideas are:
- We’ve got to have a pillow fight and ruin the bed.
- Let’s sweat it out in the gym together.
- We can hit the club if you can keep your hands to yourself when drunk.
Share your inner thoughts just enough to keep her guessing and turn her cheeks pink.
Here are some text examples:
- I wonder how you would look in a little black dress.
- I’ve been thinking about how you put your hair up when cooking.
Even funny memes can be used as a great flirting tool. For example, you send her a meme of a cat in someone’s lap and say “wish that was us.”
A repeated but true fact is that girls love to hear compliments. You can use them to make her blush, like:
- I love the way you wake me up in the morning.
- Your texts make a smile burst out of me.
- You must be tired of running on my mind lately.
- I can’t stop thinking about your smile.
Is It Okay to Text a Girl You Don’t Know?
Girls get a lot of messages from random guys. Most make them wary or creeped out. Most girls don’t want to talk to someone they don’t know.
However, if you approach respectfully, you can text a girl you don’t know.
Some people do suggest that you should text a girl you don’t know only if:
- You’ve had a brief exchange.
- You share the same class, workplace, or group chat.
- If her friend has given you her number.
- She has a rough idea of who you are. Maybe she knows you from social media or as a neighbor’s friend.
If you just got her number randomly, texting her out of the blue will scare her. She’ll get extremely cautious and might never reply to you.
That’s why relationship experts suggest being upfront about your interest. Tell her something like:
- I know it’s strange of me to text you…
- I’m so sorry for texting you randomly.
- This might come as rude…
Starting by acknowledging the randomness of your text might secure a reply. However, don’t count on it because texting a girl you don’t know can be extremely risky.
Taking the first step or sending the first text in a relationship can be difficult, but it can lead to a beautiful start.
A writer at Time, Eliana Dockterman, says that a text from Tinder or Bumble can be the first step to a lasting relationship.
Just remember to be the same person on a text message that you are in real life. Always make sure the girl is comfortable talking to you.
Give her some space, be refreshing, and use the tips mentioned above to become a pro at texting.